Kids came over last night

That made my heart happy, greatwhale! Your children are so blessed to have you as their father. And I feel blessed to read your experiences. They give me a lot of hope!

 

Me too. Think others said it All. So happy for you and your kids.
I started a debate w/our younger EC friends on what gaming system I should get for my new place in a couple of months. There are some awesome kids here at EC.

 

I'm glad to hear that you are getting your younger son counseling. You might also consider having your older kids get it, or at least let them have the option.

I had several months with a counselor (I think he was actually a real psychologist) at the time my family fell apart, but I'm not sure it did much good. One real problem I remember: the counselor really wanted to have a session with my father present, but that never happened. I'm pretty sure my father got pressure applied--for some reason, I am thinking the counselor was even given his work contact information--but he never showed up. In any case, sessions ran out not long after insurance stopped paying. I was actually sort of happy, because the sessions were next to worthless. Now, i sort of wish things could have been different. If i'd had effective therapy (which would have been viable back then, since I had the insurance coverage back then), maybe some things would have taken a different course in my life.

Do your kids (at least the older ones) know you're gay? Once that fact is known, it might help make it even more clear that the marriage was a lost cause.

 

Aww, thanks for sharing, this post made me smile! It reminds me of the time right after my parent's divorce, when my Dad was getting used to his new flat, cooking and all that stuff

 

Thanks. Your post gave me a reason to smile, and I don't just hand those out to anyone

 

There really are. I'm amazed, actually. When I signed up, I honestly wondered how well the range of ages would work. But it obviously works. One real plus I value: it gives me a chance to see the world outside the eyes of my generation. Most of the people I'm in any sort of regular contact with in daily life are my age or older.

Although, I have wondered what some of the parents of the teenage members here would think about me frankly answering their questions about topics like masturbation. Or undermining plots to get the EC member into "pray the gay away treatment." Etc, etc, etc.

One issue that I think may bother teenagers in daily life is that their main contact with adults is probably mostly authority figures of one kind or another. In fact, as a teenager, I cannot remember having known any adult who didn't potentially have some power over me. So, there is probably a feeling of caution dealing with any adult. I learned this one first hand when I was first lap swimming in the late 90s. At that time, lap swim at my home pool ran alongside a swim club. That gave me a chance to overhear a lot of conversations that were topics those kids would not--and I repeat would not--have discussed around Mom and Dad. The funny time was when Guy A told Guy B some off color thing, and Guy B hysterically said, "Don't say that! My Dad's here swimming laps today!"

 

I'm so glad that you had this evening with your children. And I'm glad that you've shared it here with us.

When contemplating coming out as dads (or moms) we envision the absolute worst and predict that the lives of our children will be ruined. That simply isn't true. Everyone must face adversity and challenges in life - it is a part of growing up. And kids are far more resilient than we think they are. They can cope better than we think.

Congratulations for starting down this road. It's all going to work out.