So, yesterday I wrote a post titled, "I Just Told My Christian Mom", and described how I told my mom I was gay and her reaction. She basically said that I was to young (I'm 18) to declare my sexual orientation, and that because I have never been on a date with a person of either gender, I have no experience to base my decision on. This was at 10 PM yesterday, and as I predicted, she went up and joined my dad in bed, and told him about it. I know this because when he and I were in the car this morning, he said: "Your mother told me about your conversation with her last night." So i'm like "uuuuuuuh, and what do you think?" He told me that I have these feelings because I am shy and I am not the perfect example of the male body, and that I am just experimenting. I get along better with guys and they are easier to talk to than girls. That's why I like them, he said. He also said that at his age, he had the same feelings and even questioned himself, and he didn't go on his first date with a woman until he was in his mid 20s. I think my parents do have a point, saying that I have never experienced dating another person of either gender. But I have to argue that ever since I was a little boy I have been attracted to other guys. Not girls. And it has only gotten stronger in recent years. Being church-goers, I think deep down my parents may be trying to deny what I have told them, and I'm afraid that they may be disappointed in me. But I can't change who I am.
This is the kind of response I'm afraid of getting when (if) I come out to my parents... they'll figure it out eventually. You know who you are, and that's what's important.
You took the first step and to do this was great. Now they are reacting instead of accepting what you have told them. They do not want you to be gay so they tell you this is really not true. In time they will see it is not a phase and you are who you told them you are. Hugs
Thanks! :icon_bigg I wouldn't have told them if I wasn't serious about it. It's been like this for years!
I'm sorry things turned out the way they did but like I've said before you have done your part in telling them and you should feel a lot better now that is not a secret and as for your parent don't worry about it, it took you time to come in terms with your sexuality and it will surely take sometime for them to come in terms with it also but you did it! you came out to both of your parents now and congrats things could have been a lot worse all that is needed now is time.
Great -- you started the convo with your Dad. He obviously cares for you alot. Remember to please look into yourself -- what's deep in your gut, your soul to find the things that are true about you. Your head, that can play tricks -- especially after your Dad's words. A person can even convince themselves to think they are or are not something -- when deep within there is the truth about themselves. Maybe a good next step when you're back at school would be to go to your school's counseling center and find a male counselor who specializes in gay issues. And check out your school's lgbt association/club. You should be very proud -- coming to terms with and opening up about your sexuality is very personal and scary and you've done it with 2 of the most important people to you!
Hey, look at it this way, they aren't trying to send you off to a church camp that can 'cure' you. They may not be able to come to terms with it right now, but because of the reaction they gave you, things are looking really good, especially sense they are so religious.
You are welcome and now you just need to wait on your mom and dad to understand you. They will see over time you are serious. It sounds as if they will love you either way. Right now they just need time. Hugs sweetie.
That could definitely have gone worse. Well, give them some time to process it. Incidentally, they do not have a point about you never having been on a date with either gender. Generally speaking, people know who they are attracted to before going out with them. It goes like this: Two people meet. They interact casually. They are attracted to each other. At least one of them is significantly attracted. One of them asks the other one out, or makes some other kind of move. Assuming the attractions is ALREADY mutual, the other person accepts. Dates are not selected at random; people do not go out with random people just to see if they can be attracted to them. They go out with people they are attracted to to see if they are compatible personality wise. Not sure why your dad questioned his sexuality, but I'd wager he liked girls when he was young. Unless he didn't, in which case he probably still doesn't--that would sort of suck for your mom. I'm very shy. Because I am shy, I have a hard time talking to people I'm attracted to. For me, this is certain women. I mean, in general, I get along better with women and have an easier time talking to them. But that is NOT the case for women I'm attracted to. With them, I basically completely forget how to talk. Therefore, it's not that women are easier for me to connect with. It's that I'm just attracted, physically, to certain women.
It's not that all guys are easy for me to talk to. If I am attracted to the guy, It's DEFINITELY not easy to talk to him. But speaking generally, over the years, I have had a much easier time starting and continuing conversations with other guys. My dad has to have liked girls, or I wouldn't be here! I have a long college career ahead of me, so i'll see what happens. I heard my parents having a conversation in bed tonight, and It may have been about me. We'll see.
Well congrats on coming out. That is denial on their part, hopefully they will go through those stages and eventually arrive at acceptance. You don't need to date to know who you're attracted to. I've never been on a date and I've had crushes on boys since I was wee little. And now girls after I decided it was okay to be gay and found out I actually like them too.
