Just tell me what I am so I can relay it to my boyfriend please.

Hey guys. So a little background, I'm about 20 (girl), I got out of a year-long relationship with a girl at the tail end of May and I jumped back into the dating scene very immediately. I'm now monogamously dating a boy.
I identified as straight for a long time (then bisexual when I dated a girl) but I did join anonymous chat and later wlw dating sites and email with/occasionally one-sided (receiving) sext with some girls when I was around 12-17. (I catfished as an older girl or sometimes as a guy -- cringeworthy I know, but I didn't feel at the time it made me not straight because I framed it like it was a challenge to convince them. Also I was like 13. Never internet-sexted guys though.) There were occasional rumors in school that I was a lesbian based on how I didn't date and how I dressed and sort of how I acted around my girl friends -- and my mom wondered openly and sometimes derogatorily about it too -- but all of those went away when one of my guy friends was getting shipped with me. I don't know if I liked him, but he liked me. I was very resistant to labeling it for some reason and we only kissed once. (I told him not to do it again.) I did really care about him though -- maybe romantically?
A few weeks after me and the guy friend had a falling out because I didn't want to date him (he also berated me when I brought up possibly dating a girl), I tried to hook up with a guy from online; we met up, I was super nervous and uncomfortable the whole time, I mentioned questioning my sexuality, I didn't let him kiss me, he tried to finger me but it hurt, we didn't have sex, and I went home. For context, I was 17, guy from online was 22. We had sort of sexted (I didn't send anything explict) and I was into it atmospherically, but in-person I very much didn't want to do anything. Maybe it was nerves.
Then at 18/19 I also didn't do much physically with my ex-girlfriend, although I often wanted to. (I didn't know how to initiate and neither did she.) We didn't move beyond hand stuff for her and only second-base from her to me, my choice. (I was a little freaked about having someone touch me.) I was very romantically attracted though and I did typical relationship stuff like flowers, grand gestures, etc. I also cried when I broke up with her and I'm not a big crier.
Now, the guy I'm dating is two years older and has had a long-term relationship before, so he's hit all of the bases. He says he's fine taking it slow with me but would obviously prefer to move faster if I wanted to. So far he's done hand stuff (mostly over clothes) with me and I've only touched him over his pants. He can make me come, but often I close my eyes and think of girls or nothing. Ever since getting a transvaginal ultrasound I'm also pretty apprehensive about penetrative sex, since apparently I'm (slightly) tighter than average and that hurt like hell.
Anyway he's really nice. My sister (identifies as bisexual by the way) doesn't think I act like my genuine self around him though, and she's right that I don't feel very romantically attached.
I do have a high sex drive in terms of taking care of myself.
Anyway that was kind of a mess but my boyfriend thinks I say a lot of lesbian-sounding (for lack of a better word) things and I don't kiss him enough, and sometimes I'm just really unsure. Anyone have any time to give advice?