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Just listen

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Derek the Wolf, Apr 21, 2009.

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  1. Lexington

    Lexington
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    Two suggestions.

    One, give him some positive feedback. When he says he loves you, or texts it, respond. Say "That totally makes me day everytime I hear/read it. I love you, too. :slight_smile:"

    Two, maybe you two can come up with a "secret signal". Something you can do in public that can stand in for "I love you". My partner and I aren't really big fans of PDAs, so we (rather randomly) came up with a few things we can do in public that send the message "I love you". We actually have a bunch of weird ones that we cycle through. Here's one: We extend the pointer and middle fingers of both hands. (Depending on if we're standing or sitting, the fingers are either sticking straight out or pointing downward.) Then we wiggle them in a rather random pattern. I saw Pubert doing this once right after we started seeing each other, and I asked what it meant. He shamefacedly did it again, this time clearly putting the fingers down on a table so they looked like little "stick figure men". He said "They're two guys, me and you. And they're dancing because they're so happy."

    Lex
     
    #21 Lexington, Apr 22, 2009
  2. Derek the Wolf

    Derek the Wolf
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    Thanks for your support guys. I guess I'm starting to believe this is real. I'm glad he does love me, more than anything. I got to see him after school for like 10 minutes today. I didn't really want to talk about this or anything serious though, but I was able to say I love you, and we kissed. It may not seem like much, but to me it means a lot.
    Well, now we have a new problem. His mom said she doesn't want him hanging around me because she knows I drink. So I've got to call her up and convince her I'm not an alcoholic. I'm kind of nervous because if I can't pull it off then we aren't going to be able to see each other at all over the summer. Wish me luck.
     
    #22 Derek the Wolf, Apr 22, 2009
  3. Lexington

    Lexington
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    Are you willing to stop drinking?

    Lex
     
    #23 Lexington, Apr 22, 2009
  4. Just Adam

    Just Adam
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    as the saying goes ... the course of true love never did run smooth... if you two truelly love each other then i believe you two can overcome the obstacles life has placed on you.

    i hope you two pull through this man, take care
     
    #24 Just Adam, Apr 22, 2009
  5. LEOs curse

    LEOs curse
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    ever watch what the bleep do we know. down the rabbit hole? try it out. it may change your outlook on life and make you more comfortable in your situation, or atleast help you to figure it out. its a long movie though and full of overcomplicated crap, but its very good in its entirety..
     
    #25 LEOs curse, Apr 22, 2009
  6. KittyBoy

    KittyBoy
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    This is sad, I really feel for you! This sounds like one of Shakespeare's romances, two people who love each other seperated by the current social setting. Just like Adam said, "the course of true love never did run smooth" and I believe that you can overcome this obstacle.

    With the drinking, are you willing to cut back a lot or stop entirely? If you are able to then you can prove to his mother that you are a responsible person, and then you will be able to spend the summer with him!

    Best wishes for you both!
     
    #26 KittyBoy, Apr 22, 2009
  7. Derek the Wolf

    Derek the Wolf
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    Yes, I would be willing to stop drinking.
    I just got off the phone with her. She said she didn't want him over at my house because she was looking out for her son's well being and didn't want him here because she didn't want him being offered alcohol. I was polite, and assured her that wouldn't happen, and she seemed to listen. I don't think I convinced her though... I called at a bad time unfortunately and she cut our conversation short. She said she'd call my parents if she wanted to talk about it, and she'd talk to her son, and maybe reconsider her decision. I don't know if she was sincere or she just wanted to shut me up, but she said it was alright for us to hang out at his house, so maybe we'll do something over there this weekend. If I can show her I'm a trustworthy guy then I'm sure she'll reconsider.
     
    #27 Derek the Wolf, Apr 22, 2009
  8. KittyBoy

    KittyBoy
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    THATS EXCELLENT! After all she is just trying to protect her son, and now you and her have reached some level of understanding. Hopefully you and her can build on that, and who knows maybe you and her can be friends, lol. The good news is, you now a have a perfect chance to prove that you are a the decent responsible guy you are.
     
    #28 KittyBoy, Apr 22, 2009
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