I'm feeling stuck again. Really badly. I feel great that I've come out to my mother today. But today, it hit me how being a gay man here is impossible. Not much of a gay scene or anything. The place I'm wishing i could move to is about 2 hours away. It's a major metropolitan area and its so much better than where I live now. I'm going to be starting school someplace this fall, but I can't support myself that well due to the fact that I have a car payment and will be going to school full time. What can I do to make my dream a reality?
Well so long as your parents are willing to cosign, there are always loans... that's how I afford to live in the city...
You don't need to be immersed in 'the scene' all the time. I don't live in a great place either - but downtown is about 45 minutes away. I go down every few weeks or so - because I don't feel a need to do so more often than that. But if you have a car, then make it a point to go to this particular city on a Saturday night. Invite a friend to go with you - whether they're gay or not - and go. Check it out. You'll feel good for doing it - and essentially get your 'fix' for a while. Then go back to school, study hard, make good friends - gay or straight - and make the best of it. You have a long life ahead of you. Where you're living right now might not really be that important. Getting an education and finishing without a mountain of debt is actually a really good thing. So think long and hard before you go out on a limb and move.
The basic question it usually boils down to is "how bad do you want it?" I wanted to break into my chosen field REALLY badly. And then I finally got offered a job. Where? Here: That's three hours from Albuquerque, the next "big town". And at 40,000 people, it wasn't exactly a booming metropolis. They offered me $600 a month. I had no car. And I had just come out of the closet, so moving there would almost certainly mean putting a hold on the sex life for awhile. I took the job. Best decision I ever made. Lex
