Hi everyone and thank you for taking me into your community. Let me say this will be a short venting session for me, I don't want to hurt anyone or argue with anyone I just need to say something. I'm gay and I'm "semi" still in the closet only a small amount of people know. When I first came out to myself as you all know its a huge first step in the right direction. I read some of these posts where if you are in the closet then you are living a lie. I agree to a point. Some of us have to live in the closet due to specific circumstances. I don't think its right to be judge because I choose to live in the closet. I actually need to be supported and loved not to be judge. I really wish I could come out but right now is not the perfect time. Timing is everything in life, I think you need "good" timing in order to make these big lifestyle changes. I'm an emotional gay man that lives in the closet, I accept that. It tears me apart at times I feel like I'm battling two fronts. I come to sites like this so that I can live my life as a gay man here because right now this is the only thing I have. I enjoy talking with you all and adding my two cents. I feel so relieved when here. OK I'm done, thank you for letting me vent and ramble. Have a great day everyone!!!
I do not recall that anyone has accused other people of living a lie. Some people have said that they themselves felt that they were living a lie. People working out their feelings, learning who they are and how to live their own lives is what this forum is about. I have seen many times where people have been supported in whatever stage they are currently. Sometimes they are even advised that if they could be in danger by being out that keeping things to themselves until such time as they could safely come out then they should do so, safety is important.
@Tymee.....Hello and just in case no one else has said it, welcome to Empty Closets! I understand how you feel about living partly in the closet as that is exactly where I am. I am out to part of my family and some close friends. EC is where I can be the real me for a while every day. It's a choice that I've made for my own reasons. I respect your choice...it's your life. Would it be better if circumstances were such that we could all be completely out without the problems it would cause? Of course...but this is real life, not a novel. While I'm not in the business of telling anyone how they should live their life, I do try to encourage and help in any way that I can. You are the one who makes the choices that determine how you live your own life. Sometimes others can make a suggestion that could really help you through tough times. That's a part of what Empty Closets is about. You can drop by and vent anytime that you feel the need! I hope that we can also help you figure out the problems that you face...you are a part of our LGBTQ+ Family and we do care! .....David
I agree no one should judge you for that. We come out when we are ready, and that time will be different for everyone. Everyone’s circumstances are different. I think a lot of straight people can’t understand why it would be difficult for someone to accept their sexuality or be open about it and I think that’s maybe something you can only truly understand if you are LGBT? Glad you have found this online community!
Welcome! I think as @QuietPeace said above- people were talking about their personal experiences. Right now, I am not out to a lot of people -but like you have i have accepted and love that I am gay, so it starts to feel like a little of a conflict. It's not so much that we're living 'lies' but for someone of us this 'uncomfortable' feeling is a sign to us it's time to move forward with coming out. But everyone is different - and I certainly don't judge you for not coming out now, after all I didn't even come out to myself for most of my life . You should only come out when you feel the time is right - with some people that might be never, or there might be some people you never come out to. I think more importantly is start living as much as you can as you want your authentic self to be - then the 'coming out' is pretty natural. This is a huge and the most important step - it took me a long long time to get there. Give credit to yourself, and enjoy the community here!
