I've lost interest in this site, here's why I think that's a good thing

There comes a point where after months of questioning you get so sick of the feeling you just leave it. You leave it as it is. You accept the fact that you don't know everything about yourself yet, and that's okay. I've come to the conclusion that the only thing that will help me get closer to the answer is experiment and go out into the real world to do that. Just live my life basically. Letting things flow. Which is why I have lost interest in this site. There is only so much time in life and getting caught up in definitions or past experiences won't help.

I have not been as active lately. I came here at the peak of my confusion. I came here for answers. I now know almost everything there is to know about sexuality. Some things I've yet to experience. So there is no point in staying here. It ends up being an indefinite loop of reading and researching the same things over and over, thinking you are one step closer to figuring it out. I'm sure this site has helped many people, but for some of us, it takes a little more to figure things out. I'm now supposed to go into the second stage as mentioned earlier, just letting things happen. And that is so good. I'm telling you all, If you reach this stage, please don't hesitate to let go. To live. To hopefully love. Doesn't matter who, all that matters is that you are letting go of the shackles of confusion.
Because when you do, you open up new doors. You allow yourself to live in the moment.

I won't delete my account. I will revisit and hopefully give an update when I'm in a place of little to no confusion. When I have enough experience to know who I am. There might not be a definite answer, but there might be a temporary answer. And I'm okay with that.

Feel free to share your thoughts if you have had/are having a similar experience.

 

I'm pleased you intend to revisit with updates, because they are important too. If we can see how members get on after coming out, it makes a big difference to those who are still thinking about it. We can share what's worked well for us... and what hasn't. I've been out for over twenty years and no longer require help, advice or support with the coming out process, because I've done it, but I'm motivated to come here to try to help members who are just taking the first steps and wondering what lies ahead.

Yes, we are here to provide advice and support with the coming out process, but coming out is the beginning, rather than the end. Coming out is the first stage on a personal journey and it's good for people to know what the journey is like. If we share our experience it may assist people and help them to avoid mistakes with coming out and the on going journey, and that's even better.

 

I would say I’m in the same stage as you but I do like to come on here and help others where I can. Maybe I can’t quite fully let go, it does sometimes feel like a bit of an addiction keep coming on here looking to see what’s been posted.

 

Distancing yourself from this forum - or any online chat forum for that matter - is a good idea. Online chat can become an addiction, whatever the subject, and while to some extent it is good to get things off your chest and share your ideas and opinions and questions, it's not so good if you get caught in an infinite loop. You end up asking and answering the same questions and repeating the same arguments and it becomes counterproductive.

I decided to step away from this site when I found myself becoming frustrated with certain users because I was giving my points to them and they just didn't seem to be sinking in. I realised that while some answers worked well for me, different answers might work for somebody else, and it wasn't helpful to anyone for me to become judgmental and try to decide what somebody should do based on my experience. We all come here to figure out our own individual experiences.

And this site is designed to help us get by in our off-line lives. We're only really going to do that if we step away from the screen and go out and explore and try out some of the advice that's been given to us. We need to give ourselves a LOT of space to do that. we can't become too dependent on these forums. We can't have every single question answered about our sexuality and our feelings by total strangers, we have to maintain some curiosity and uncertainty so we can challenge ourselves and allow ourselves the chance to grow and develop.

It is good to drop in now and then and share our input and what we have learned about ourselves both on and off the forums.

 

Happy graduation! You are joining many, many people who have been able to come here, get the answers that they need, and get enough courage to go out in the world and live the best life that they can. Super happy for you! I did the exact same thing. I got to this site when I was 18 years old and stayed for a couple of years until I figured shit out. Took a break, lived my life, and now coming back as a 27 year old to hopefully give back some of the things I have learned.

Go and conquer!

 

this can be a struggle for me as well. I have no plans to come out, so I wonder if being here is counterproductive? Sometimes I grow weary of it, and stay away for long stretches of time, but I invariably come back. Out of boredom, or a sudden surge in gay attraction, maybe both. Then I’ll go away again. While I’m away, I almost forget about being bi, and I’m basically a straight guy. If I’m not going to be with guys, maybe that is the best way. Anyway, sorry for the rant, it’s just something I’ve been dealing with

 

See, I'm the opposite. I use this site daily. It's one of my main sources of support and advice, outside my small group of LGBT friends.

Even if I'm currently not planning on coming out to other people anytime soon, I still love coming here.

 

Do what is best for you.

Very recently, I had to step back from a particular forum (Cruise Critic) because it caused me a lot of distress. I kept a list going for them to get information on something but it was full of geriatrics who weren't the nicest of people, to put it bluntly. I constantly got criticism and was viewed as lesser by them on every occasion. I was too invested in it (a bit like an addiction) and they didn't like it, so I stepped back and do not plan to visit again in the near future.

On the other hand, EC is a great community. I can come here to get good advice (and I'm still at a time where I need it), and I like what it offers. It's where I can specifically talk LGBT related issues until I actually have more LGBT people in my life.

For now, EC is providing me with what I need and is a great community, so I don't have any plans to leave yet. Hopefully, if I do take a break at some point, I leave on good terms and not on several spats like I left Cruise Critic on.

 

I don’t want it to appear that I think this is a bad forum, it certainly is not. Sometimes I just wonder if it is good for me, that’s all my thoughts on this are constantly shifting