It's probably childish to put it this way, but I've got a huge crush on a work colleague. I define myself as bisexual since I was 15 years old, but for crushes and love, I's nothing that happens to me that often -specially as the years go by. And now I have these feelings, and don't know what to do with them. She is in a relationship (which doesn't seem to be very serious) with a man. She gives me mixed signals. Or maybe I read them wrong. I don't know. I feel like a teenager and I guess I should be more realistic... But it's oh such a delicious pain:bang:
Happy for you that you're enjoying the torment of a crush again! You can always just tell her how you feel and explain that you respect her relationship. That way, you can still be friends if her relationship is serious and if she's unhappy in that relationship she can escape it and explore her feelings for you! As long as she's not a homophobe or at risk of filing a harassment case since you work with her, she might be just really flattered that you find her attractive. Good luck and take care of yourself!
Does she know you're bi? Coming out would help her understand how she is affecting you with those mixed signals.
I totally understand how you feel. I've got a major crush on an older married woman. I've told her how I feel but yet she still gives me mixed signals, so I haven't got a clue what's going on in her mind?!? What are you gonna do??? XXX
some people like sending mixed signals just to mess with your head. i wound probably tell her jokingly that somebody may take her flirting the wrong way.
Hi guys.. This was my first post, and have no many people to share this with so your response has been very very helpful, so thanks a lot. To softsprite, actually yours and resu's really give me a clue to which action to take. It definitely is cool to like someone so much again, and I think she's cool, so I'm not that afraid of being treated differently by her if she knew my feelings. I'm just not someone who can tell how I feel about another woman. I guess the reason is that my brother is gay, he came out long ago and wasn't well accepted by my parents, so my bisexuality has always been like second in importance, and I always kept it to myself because it was nobody's business. Until, obviously, something like this happens. I did tell a couple of colleagues I'm friend with, lately, while drinking, and they were very nice and understanding, and that was a big step for me(apart from my closest friends from childhood, I've never said the word 'bisexual' ever out loud). They also said there might be a chance she's bi, but who knows. The mixed signals might just mean she likes me very much as a friend. The way she smiles at me, and sometimes gets kind of nervous around me (I guess I hide that better) is what I understand as signals. But yeah, what I mean is, if I came out to those two colleagues I could as well mention it in a conversation with her. I'm just afraid she says she's not. So thanks you very much all of you for your answers. As for kessiej, if she's married, and you already told her, she should probably be clearer with you, she kind of owes you that. There's nothing more that you can do...
I totally understand being less than forthcoming about bisexuality until something comes up that makes it an issue. Sometimes it just sneaks up like a little reminder when I'm least expecting it. My gay friends joke sometimes that bisexuals have unusually good gay-dar and I think that's probably true, especially when it comes to recognizing each other. The fact that she acts nervous around you is a good sign, unless she's just an extremely shy person. Who knows, maybe she's just waiting for you to start the conversation! Not very many bisexuals are open about it--maybe she's hoping that you're a kindred spirit (if nothing more) and she's anxious too. Even if she just wants to be friends, mutual harmless flirting is fun. Certainly makes the work day more pleasant
Thanks softsprite. I don't know what happens to my gaydar, it doesn't seem to work... - apart from Ellen Page, I knew it right away Well, it's a difficult situation. My job is pretty flexible so I don't see her everyday -though I can figure out when she works. I have told her a few times to hang out, and she's up for it but never found the time... Still, unless I get a proper signal I have to stop behaving like a teenie. It feels good, but it also feels so bad.
Hi guys... so I gathered some gallantry and texted her to meet somewhere last night. But that was all, I did have a few chances to mention the B word but just couldn't... I'm soo friendzoned. At least I know now that she's not serious about her relationship. I want to meet her more, and I still have something inside that tells me she could be interested, but nothing is upfront (not even a clear flirting). I might be totally off the hook, and could suffer more if I try keep the friendship?
