Hi guys...It's been a really long time since the last time I posted something, but now I need to talk with somebody. I was really happy: even though I was still having trouble with my exams, I had an amazing girlfriend, wonderful friends and I also found a good job. The thing is my girlfriend found a job too, as a waitress, but she worked an inhuman amount of time, so we hadn't seen each other for a month. Two days ago she asked me if we could go out and I was pretty excited to finally see her. After a good dinner, we went to a pub and there she told me she had to break up with me. The problem is that she identifies as a straight woman. She was the one to ask me out because she was attracted by me, even though she knew I was a girl. We fell in love and after a while I decided to come out to her as an FTM guy. She said that was just another reason to love me and that she would support me no matter what. But I just don't want to transition. She saw me as a guy but she knew I'll never be a "real" one. She was a virgin, so she's still curious to know how is sex with a man. And then she explained that the main reason she cannot be with me is that I can't give her a kid. She claims to be in love with me and that she doesn't want to lose me, that maybe we'll go back together but now she has to "free" me. This is what she's been pondering about this last month. I've been crying since that night. I love her so much, I still see a future with her. I just cannot let her go. She keeps texting me as if nothing change and we're going to see each other on Monday. I just don't know what to do. I know it's a long post. Thanks to anyone who's willing to bear with my sad thoughts
I'm sorry this is happening to you. I don't even get how she could eat a good dinner while she was sitting on that announcement. :/ Ask her for a break from texting. Do not text her nor answer her texts after that, for at least a couple of months. It's okay to be sad, even if it feels terrible. You can't find equilibrium while she's expecting you to wait for her. She did not yet "free" you if she keeps contacting you. If she's keeping you as a friend for her own comfort, while your heart is breaking, you need to free yourself. (And don't see her on Monday. Cancel politely, and don't give a specific reason. Do something nice and/or healthy for yourself while you wallow in heartache, instead.) The only possible way to let her go is to give yourself some space. She may have said she could get back together with you, in order to seem to soften the harshness of the break-up, both for herself and for her, so it doesn't sound so real. But it is real. If she wants to get back together as something more than friends, it sounds like she needs time to think about her life goals anyway, what with the two different explanations she gave you for the breakup. So take a break from contact and get obsessed with something else for the time being. Get into a new fandom or something. Throw yourself into that good job you have! Take time to decide whether you really want to be only friends with her, if she is not interested romantically. If you're going to be falling in love again every time you see her, you need to take care of yourself.
Thank you for replying me. The thing is I have to see her because we suited our employer last year and we have the same lawyer. I'm gonna ask her to explain to me again why we have to break up so I can really metabolize or try to persuade her. Because she's still telling me she loves me and I have to do something otherwise I'll never forgive me for not trying
