It takes a village...do you have one?

Sounds wonderful...!!!

 

At this point, I would be happy even with a hovel.
I like my straight friends but sometimes I feel alone when I'm with them because I'm really interested in people who understand what it is to be gay/lesbian, etc.

There are days when I really feel like I'm so out of place in life because I don't have a "tribe." I can't help but feel like it's my fault for not realizing my sexuality sooner, and therefore not building a community of like-minded people early in in life. I don't know if I'm right/wrong but I think it's harder to find close friends later in life (not mere acquaintances). I hope I'm wrong about that.

 

There are so many excellent remarks and points of view here. Thanks guys! ❤️❤️❤️

 

You know... I DO feel it is important to underscore that your straight friends can be a great support system, if you let them.

Do my friends understand what it's like to be gay? Not by experience. I can't use them as mentors in this.
But they DO make for great "fellow travelers". I can talk to them about anything from whether I should come out at work, to how satisfied I am with my sex life, and they'll generally do an honest effort to provide advice and support. Much like I do for them.

To a certain point, sometimes it even helps that I need to spell it out for them. They don't understand instinctively, so I have to structure my own thoughts and opinions better. In the process, sometimes discover stuff I would have never noticed otherwise.
Whereas my best friend sometimes just fills in his own experiences (because hey, we're both gay!) and then gets it entirely wrong because our lives aren't identical either.

Mind you, gay friends are awesome. I want more of them too. But my friendship with my straight friends has only grown tighter after I came out. So don't set yourself apart from them in the pursuit of new friends. This is an and/and story, not an either/or one.

It's... not easier. But I found one hell of a boyfriend and one hell of a best friend, both in my late twenties.
You need to get yourself out there and actively look for friends, and actively pursue them, which is harder than when you're younger and get kinda "lumped in" with other kids your age as a matter of daily life.
But while your amount of shots decreases, your hit rate does increase the older you get and the better you know what you're loking for!

 

I think it is harder to make friends later in life because some people already have somewhat of a support system in place but more because opportunities to make the friends have to be actively sourced rather than just happened upon. When you go through school and uni and stuff you are always meeting new people but when you get older less so apart from work and then it depends what kind of job you do.

 

I don't really have a village. I do have all of you on here. And it's wonderful. But where I live most of the gay bars have closed. There are support groups but they are mostly for youth. I haven't made any new friends in a while. Although it would be nice. I'm sure there's one waiting for me somewhere. And I can't wait to meet them.

 

I don't have any such support either. I use the excuse that all the gay groups and people are too far away, in areas with difficult parking and frequent crime and it's too intimidating. I don't fit in the straight or gay world so you're not alone. I hope you find what you need irl.