Is this normal?

First of all.. well 'HI!' I guess is really first. :3

The next first is definitely not; I've felt really down since I came out, but happy about who I was. I finally understood things about me I'd been miserable about for so many years. Still, it made for a lonely life. My wife and I got a divorce, and I only see my one-year-old son once or twice a week. On top of that, I live in a part of America that is not only lacking in a supportive LGBT community, but I could actually be socially cast out if it became very public.

I know how it feels to be that alone, AV. Really, I do. I still have my closest couple of friends. They understand and accept me, but they can't support me in the way I need it with my orientation. There are none here that can. I've come here with the same hopes of making friends and easing a lot of the frustration I have with a future of perceived hopelessness.

Just remember you're not alone. :3 The internet is a fantastic thing, and there will always be kind people to talk to if you look for them. I've only been a member of EC for a few days, but I'm here if you ever need to talk. Glad you've joined us!

 

First of all, I don't know if that's normal. But I do understand you since I've been there and is still there too.

In the Philippines (where I live), gays are technically accepted but still ostracized by society. As the only "Catholic Country in Asia," imagine my struggle. Marriage is illegal, media is limiting gay-related themes into those of comedy (since gays here are expected to be funny or making everyone laugh aka a clown) etc etc. and because of that, gays in my country are of low-esteem and lacks a developed personality. They are needy and just wanted pleasure of the flesh, which I tried honestly but it didn't fulfill my needs.

Hence, here I am, dreaming of living one day in the USA to find gay people who wanted to have a relationship rather than just a sexual partner. I also dream of marrying, basking in our love for each other, honor and respect each other until our final days

But for now, I have to survive in being alone. Because even if it's bleak, even if right now I really feel so hopeless, like I will die alone without experiencing someone loving me in that special way, I am holding on to my faith that God will lead me to the right path, to the right guy.

And for that faith alone, I will wake up every day hoping

 

Heyhey! And welcome to EC!

To answer the thread topic: yes, it's normal. In the sense that a lot of us have been there, at one or multiple times. Sometimes things can get to much and it feels like the world is against you and retreating feels like such a tempting option.

And yes, it can be quite a chore finding good friends, let alone GLBT friends. Even in an ostensibly ultra-liberal country like Belgium, I have never found it exactly easy. It took me a fair few years after coming out before finally feeling like I had a somewhat self-sustaining social life.

And on some evenings, I still prefer to have a date with myself, a blanket, the cat, and Netflix. Even when I could be doing a ton of other interesting things or be meeting up with friends.


But whether it's a minor funk, or a full-blown depression, it isn't something you should indulge in too much. Because allowing yourself to become or stay isolated will get you into a depression. Or keep you in one.

Obviously you should't feel obliged to become a social butterfly. And trying to change things all at once is probably too much.

But try to make at least ONE change. Find a reason to go out at least once a week. Dinner with coworkers sounds nice. OR maybe you could join a book club. Or a gym. Or a cooking class. Or a language course. Or an expat social group. Anything that gets you out and in the company of people.

Note how I say "people". Not even necessarily "gay people". Finding gay friends is something you want down the line, but it's good to continuously meet new people with similar interests. Especially if you can be out to them from the start. Build a network. ANY network. Which will in time include other gay people, or give you leads on how to start a gay network.



And, of course, we're here on EC. One of the bigger gay networks online. So do please keep posting. It isn't the same as real, physical interaction. But it can be a good start to finding good friends.
In fact, I made a few of my best friends on here (though the distance is



So: (*hug*)
It's never too late, and hope is never futile. You may be feeling down now, but things can and do get better. And you're among friends, here!

 

I can relate to you. I kinda feel like I grew up around the wrong group of people. I'm introverted and not really outgoing. I don't have many friends, let alone gay friends. I don't depend on social apps like Facebook and datings apps because I kinda feel like it's a number's game. It hard to find people that I can truly relate to. I'm just not as interested in the latest trend or the social media. I feel like an outsider sometimes but I'm sure there are people out there that I can relate to. I just haven't found them yet.