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Is it REALLY ok to not know?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by DownsideUp, Mar 18, 2017.

  1. DownsideUp

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    Hello. So, about one month or so ago, I started to have some feelings towards a friend of mine from school. It was normal at first, because I really adored her and had a strong connection with her. After a while, she and I became closer and I started to look for her everywhere in school and get excited when I was with her. I searched about sexualities and talked to a teacher- which told me not to talk about it to my friends. I got scared because I had never felt something like that before. And I was afraid that it wasn't real and I was just doing it to be different than others.
    After two weeks, I told my mother that I thought I liked girls, and she said I had time to understand it because I am in puberty. Even thought I understood what she said, it still felt bad to not be understood completely. When I talked to my dad, he said you can't get lesbian at age fifteen and it's usually seen at age twelve. I really don't understand how "It should be" or how "It should not be", I don't know how to call myself. The only thing I am completely sure is that friend I like will never see me more than a friend.
    So my question is: Is there really any way I can completely understand if I like girls, or if I like boys? Will there ever be a person who can understand me? Is it REALLY okay to not know?
    Thank you for reading.
     
  2. Worker Bee

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    There's no right or wrong age to discover your sexuality or gender identity. And there's nothing wrong with being unsure. Plenty of people have doubts and confusion when they are working out who they are.

    Only you can know if you like girls, boys, neither or both. I guess you could start by working out who you find attractive, which gender you are drawn to and if you could imagine having sex with that gender. It may take time or it might become clear immediately.

    And yes it is OK to not know.
     
  3. Irisviel

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    assuming like your dad that 12 is when you "should" know is also assuming 12 year olds have sexual feelings already. Granted a lot do but it's not developed that much yet. 15 is a rather "normal" age to take your sexuality seriously. So, it's not like you didn't know. You're pretty much at that age when people find out. Some sooner some later.
     
  4. Sebby45

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    It is totally fine not to know right away. I'm almost thirty and I'm still figuring some things out! Like others have said, only you know how you feel, and what you feel is valid...though confusing. Explore your feelings more. Try to detach yourself from them to get a new perspective. What are you really looking for? Are you really attracted to girls or are you looking for certain characteristics in a person, etc?

    I hope some of that made sense...

    Sebby45