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Is it OK to sleep w someone in an open marriage?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by mlansing, Jun 21, 2022.

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  1. mlansing

    mlansing
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    In the last thread I posted I was conflicted because I slept w someone who after the fact I found out had a girlfriend. Now I’m conflicted because I am talking to someone who is in an open marriage with another guy. I do feel that it’s an entirely different thing if someone is ethically non-monogamous, but still the fact that he is married is giving me pause. Am I being too strict about the letter of the law or are my reservations legitimate?
     
    #1 mlansing, Jun 21, 2022
  2. bsg75apollo

    bsg75apollo
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    The only one who can decide is you. If it's not what you want, not your style, or you just feel weird about it, there is nothing wrong with it. While in the process of splitting up, my wife and I have agreed to being allowed to see other people. How I will really feel about it remains to be seen as nothing has happened yet.
     
    #2 bsg75apollo, Jun 21, 2022
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  3. mlansing

    mlansing
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    If it even gets there I might ask that he talk to
    his husband on the phone first or even let me talk to him, lol. If his husband is totally cool and supportive then I think I might be ok with it. If not, or he’s not willing to call his husband up, then that might be my answer.
     
    #3 mlansing, Jun 21, 2022
  4. bsg75apollo

    bsg75apollo
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    I think that is a reasonable request.
     
    #4 bsg75apollo, Jun 21, 2022
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  5. Cinnamoon

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    I slept with somebody in an open relationship and it kind of fell apart because of how uncomfortable I felt, so I can relate to how hard this could be. However, I was in a bit of a bad state mentally at the time which didn't help, and the concept of open marriages and open relationships in themselves means that you're doing absolutely nothing wrong when you sleep with somebody in one.

    You're probably slightly more nervous because of your bad experience before, with the person who was in a closed relationship not an open one. But like you're saying, communication is key, and if everybody is open to this happening and is consenting then you should be totally fine going forward with something like this if you wanted to.
     
    #5 Cinnamoon, Jun 22, 2022
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