ok there's this guy that i like... and well im not entirely sure where to put this post but i kinda want advice on this.. So he is kinda effeminante (one thing most people notice about him) he is interested in politics, dislikes "alpha male kinda things"-wrestling-guns-contact sports(though he is quite good at them, well im pretty sure he dislikes them...), never talks about porn even thought the rest of teh class does(not saying gays dont look at porn, just saying that we tend not tell everyone of the porn we watch..), shows an interest in fashion never uses the word gay as a term for bad and well there was this thing that makes me kinda think that he knows im gay... And eversince that event he has seemed... nicer to me.. (he used to hate me, and rightfully so, i honestly think i was a prick before i came out to someone, always try to seem the leader and i came across as a prejudice bastard) but even after i came out to someone he was still a bastard to me, until this event. -INSERT EVENT- well i went to minus 18 with a couple of friends (its an underage GLBTI organisation that hosts events at clubs every few months). and while it wasn't my scene, i had a good night. well this guy's ex-girlfriend was there and she told him that i was there and the next day i looked on my myspace and he had left a comment asking how was minus? i freaked out then and thought "oh shit oh shit he knows!" but theni regained my composure and sent back "it was good" which then got the response of something along the lines of "i heard u weren't dancing much, y'd u go?" or something weird. So i then brought up the mystery of his breakup with said ex-girlfriend (NOBODY KNOWS WHAT HAPPENED) and said "well it wasnt really my scene, and while we are asking questions about things that have nothing to do with us, what ever happened b/w u and -insert exgirlfriends name-?" his response was "oh burn" -i think that he came out to his girlfriend and (like me) continued to stay good friends with her but didnt really give a reason to people for the breakup.- he has never ever approached me about it in school and he has always been rather antisocial (not hateful but just he doesnt talk much in class) but recently he has been talking to me quite a bit and he is actually quite nice to me sometimes. and well, i can't help but think that he might be gay... well im almost certain he knows i am. but I'm just kinda unsure as to whether he might be gay.... - END INSERT OF EVENT- so questions are: 1) do you think he could be gay? 2) have you ever come out to someone while simultaneously asking them out? i just wanna know if that works... please respond, I realise this is not a crisis but its eating me that this guy is so damn nice and in my mind there is a strong possibility of him being gay! am i hoping too much or does it seem realistic?
Well for one, I really don't think that you have enough to go on to say he's gay. When it comes to our minds, when we really want something, or for something to be true we have a terrible habbit of turning mundane things and trivials coincidences in to surefire signs. He seems like a nice kid and you are obviously keen on him, in my opinion your best bet is to come out to him first; see his reaction and if it is positive THEN ask him out. Atleast give the coming out and asking out a week's seperation; to make sure he's still talking to u etc. But i mean hey, if he comes out to you too then there's no use wasting time. Good luck
No idea if he's gay. He might be, he might not be. I say come out to him first - and only that. Even if he comes out to you in return, I'd give it a bit before instantly asking him out. Lex
well, if he's not gay. he's at least comfortable with gays. although, he sounds pretty gay to me. heres a shocking idea. why don't you say whats on your mind. stop wondering. and ask him if he's gay. imagine that. ;x
