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Is dysphoria beatable?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Invidia, Mar 17, 2016.

  1. Invidia

    Invidia Guest

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    Sometimes I feel like I should just give on my dreams of transitioning because I'll just feel this bad forever no matter what I do. :frowning2: I'm so afraid of that if I do get to a point where I myself might be satisfied with how I look and feel and so on, I'll still be put down by people clocking me or commenting on my length or whatever. :'(
     
  2. Michael

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    Answer to the thread title is '100% No when you are Pre-everything. 50-70% Maybe if you have at least done something about it (absolute minimum is to present as your gender, rest is up to you)'

    About your post... If you are tall, then it's not so bad : Tall women are quite attractive, most of them work even as models and whatnot, and whatever you wear will look way better on long lengs, that's for sure.

    ... You know people will make comments regardless if you transition or not. I think, if I have to suffer a critic, I'd rather hear some stupid comment about the real me than about some character I represent for the pleasure of somebody else. At least it is me, you know...

    To me, the further I go with my transition, the better I feel. However the most acute dysphoria comes from purely physical attributes that can only be beaten with the aid of surgery and hormones. Most of the people who are on hormones have told me, they changed everything for them.

    It's like being a teenager again : You need to work on accepting yourself, same as you did back then (or tried to). That's an unavoidable psychological process you must go through, at your own pace.
     
  3. Invidia

    Invidia Guest

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    Thanks, Michael. You always say the most comforting things. x

    I also feel better the further I go with transition. The more feminine I look, the longer my hair gets, the happier I am about the way I'm able to present. And it's also the some for me, that the most acute dysphoria is from physical stuff (especially sexual stuff for me...)
     
  4. Kiran

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    I'm pre everything. Getting binder and male clothes beats out of most dysphoria (big breasts) for me even when I'm still "mrs" to people. I hope getting a cut will further ease it. Doing something about it really helps to combat dysphoria.
     
  5. Matto_Corvo

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    You might never get rid of it completely but you can make it so small that you barely notice it.

    And hey, women are tall too! My mom is 5'10 and my aunt is 6'. I went to school with a girl who is 6'5 and her basketball game was strong.
    If you look a bit masculine or have a bit of facial hair, well hey that is no different than cis women I know. Most cis women I know have facial hair of some sort and go through all sorts of pain to removed because of societies views on beauty.

    People will always have comments and things to say about you, no matter if you are trans or cis. Just tell then to stop being jealous over how awesome you are and move on with their life.
     
  6. FootballFan101

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    I know how you feel
     
  7. Mr Spock

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    Everyone loves a confident person, but too much of it appears un-human. A little dysphoria will just keep you right on the edge of feeling uncomfortable. One day it will be something you deal with sub-consciously. :slight_smile:
     
  8. clockworkfox

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    I can't agree with this more. :eusa_clap

    Everyone out there is really just trying to figure out what makes them feel whole. Maybe we have further to go than cis people to get there, but that doesn't mean it isn't worth doing! Just the opposite - we've got so much to fight for! And fighting for it, with our presentation, and anything medical we might choose to do, it does help the dysphoria, because every step is a step closer to wholeness. Our bodies are ours alone, and nobody should tell you that the way you like to present yourself to the world is wrong.

    The second, and often more difficult way to combat the dysphoria, is to accept our limitations, and to accept ourselves for who we are. We will never be cis. And that's just fine! Because being trans shouldn't be shameful! I'm coming to terms with the fact that I'm not getting any taller, and for years and years I was hoping to make it to 5'7". It isn't going to happen - it's a limitation I'll have to accept, and it doesn't invalidate me. None of your limitations invalidate you! Remember that! Would a cis girl be told she's too tall to be a girl? Then why should your height be held against you?

    There will always be jerks, but the feelings of satisfaction - of wholeness - they're always worth it. Because we're people, and we deserve to feel whole. (*hug*)
     
  9. Invidia

    Invidia Guest

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    Thanks again for all the nice words. xo
     
  10. Just Jess

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    I've mostly beaten my dysphoria. When it comes back there's always a reason that would likely make a cis person feel at least a little crappy. I care about as much about sex and gender now as most cis people, and it can even be fun sometimes to imagine / remember the other side of the fence.
     
  11. Invidia

    Invidia Guest

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    That sounds nice, Jess. x Hope I can be happy with myself like that some day.