Hello all , I recently had a young girl approach me via Internet in my small North Western Ontario town about coming out to her parents, and hopefully one day, the world. Since she was quite delicate, and confused, I tried to be as cautious as I could. I thoroughly told her about my coming out experience; how my mother dealt with it, how my father dealt with it, and how my siblings dealt with it. She took the story into account, and I could tell she was relieved, but I couldn't help but feel I didn't do as good of a job as I could have. That poses the question: Is there a significant difference in "coming out" reaction between gay men and lesbian women? My sister is a lesbian, and she had almost the exact coming out experience as I did; but I am not so naive to believe all parents are accepting as ours. "Out" lesbians...what happened? Who was more accepting? Who was more hostile? I really want to help this girl. All feedback is welcome Mitchh
Obviously, my only first-hand experience is my own, but I've had plenty of second-hand experience here and elsewhere. It's been my experience that in general, the reactions seem to be similar for both, and the main difference lies in what kind of parents they have. Lex
In my experiences, (I've never really been "out" myself, but I have several friends who are) the people at my school are actually more comfortable with lesbians coming out than gays, I guess because girls are already so comfortable and touchy-feely with each other. Once I overheard a conversation of classmates where they said this directly: "It seems better for a girl to be gay than a guy." It feels more natural to them, I suppose? O-o I'm sorry I don't have more experience, but this is what I've found concerning the topic. Hope this helps her even a little!
I'm only out to a few people, so I don't know for sure. But it seems that girls are usually more accepting of gay guys - everyone seems to want a gay best friend to talk about guys with - but are more awkward around lesbians, thinking they're going to hit on them or something (I've learned from experience). While guys are usually more accepting of lesbians, because it's "hot", and more awkward around gay guys, for the same reason. But this isn't true for everyone.
As everyone before me has said, it's typically easier or more accepted for girls to come out than guys. Guys think girls making out is hot. Neither guys or (most) girls think two guys making out is hot, or anything that might come after. But guys feel more uncomfortable around gay guys because they always wonder if they're looking at them, or if they want to do stuff with them, etc. Girls usually feel the same way about other girls. So maybe coming out to a friend of the opposite sex is the key?
