Internalized Homophobia and same sex arousal

Thanks for sharing, c.

i never attended therapy...something I feel I really should have. Recently I had a lot of anxiety again, tried accepting I was gay or bi or just accepting the thought at least. This worked for a bit to decrease anxiety, but the fact I still can’t reach any kind of intense arousal from thinking about guys just confuses me. There’d be a time a previous sexual encounter with a girl would pop into my head, and I’d fantasise a bit, feel myself getting aroused/hard, and it would feel good. But almost immediately I would catch myself resting if I had the same with a guy, can I have these feelings with a guy too, etc, and then testing my reactions, and my nice original thoughts would be replaced with what feel like alien thoughts of with guys. Then I’d try to think it’s ok Chris, you can try to like it...but I don’t know

the tingling sensation you describe I get too..Like, an intense tingling at the tip of my penis, where you urinate out of (not sure of the actual word sorry) which feels like it goes down my urinary tract? It’s sensitive and feels like pins and needles mixed with some kind of pleasure? But I can’t get off to it...very weird, also the feeling of lust you describe in your throat sounds familiar, interesting way to put it

honestly mate I don’t even know anymore. I’ve reached out to an ocd specialist who charges £110 per hour! I will check some others too since they are all working online now...I’ve always been quite a timid person, I wish I would’ve gone a year ago because not a day has gone by in the last year where this question hasn’t been on my mind when I’m idle or out and about

my worry is that I just need to accept myself as I don’t want to wake up in 10 years having never been in a serious relationship and realise I was gay all along..like, ill say to myself dude it’s fine to be gay, all my friends are super liberal, I live in a liberal place, my sister is bi and has a gf, my parents would love me regardless..the anxiety is not about the reactions I’d get from friends or family, it’s froM the thoughts which conflict with my identity/how I see myself. Like I said in previous posts, I can see a girl and just this inner beast inside me wants to have sex with her if she is sexually attractive, and that’s just not really there for guys

 

Hi, Chris. Your posts appeared on my notifs because I had previously participated in this thread.

As someone that is more or less your age, I want to ask you something... If you have lived more than a quarter of a century and same-sex stimuli have never done anything for you, do you really think that they will ever do?

From an outsider's point of view, you sound like a straight that simply needs some psychological tweaks. In my view, it would make sense attending therapy, as others have suggested. In you do so, avoid postponing it too much, so that your problems don't grow too big.

Above all, good luck!

 

I had this same problem.I had a feeling that iam gay because i watched more and more hard stuff.Every sexual situations was for me erected.I started to stop masturbating for 5 days and suddenly the thoughts and feelings that i get maybe an arousal from gay sexual contact gone .You must understand every single word about sex gave me an erection.
I had lots of fear that iam gay.My libido for normal sex gone because i watched more and more dirty things like deep throat bdsm.I want to say not every arousal means you are gay its cause lots of another thinks.I dont like gaysex but iam not disgusted because its normal sex but for many people its looks different.