In a relationship, but also enjoy some alone time

I'm a woman but I can relate to your perceived problem.. When I was dating my husband, we both enjoyed each others' company and were well-suited to each other, but both of us like alone time. So we just schedule lots of time to do our own thing. He watches hockey or talks to his friends, I have my hobbies. I think it is actually good for a relationship to do that.
Where you have a more serious problem is your reluctance to move forward in that relationship, start living together, etc. I enjoyed being single so much (having the best of both worlds) that when he started talking marriage, it scared me to death. I can't do that, I thought. I like my privacy too much. The intimacy of living together 24/7 scared me. But after two years of dating, I realized if I didn't marry him I would regret it for the rest of my life. He is the best for me. So I was ready. You will reach that stage too when the time is right, assuming he is the right one, of course. You will know. Another problem I had was that when I was ready to tie the knot, he wasn't! Time can change people. He was going through a time of lacking confidence too. As a result, we waited another two years to get married. We did enjoy each others company greatly though even when we were not planning to marry.
It's a journey - it will work out if he is the right one for you.

 

I would just remind your boyfriend that this is your first relationship and you need some extra time to reach his level. He knew what he signed up for kinda thing. That being said, I would suggest having periodic heart to heart talks with your boyfriend about future goals and needs you're both looking for in a relationship. That way you guys can both be on the same page and your boyfriend can gain more assurance in the relationship by helping you reach his level of experience.

I used to be quite introverted myself. I experienced some friction in relationships and friendships like you stated. I realized something had to give and I met their energy level somewhere in the middle. Half-way between introverted and extroverted. In relationships and social interactions you have to always push the boundaries of your comfort zone a tiny bit to grow. we are never done growing unfortunately.

I know you have a routine and personal preferences, but a relationship is all about timing, chemistry, and compromises. If you can see yourself marrying your boyfriend one day, then you have to make small compromises here and there. Try your best to meet him in the middle. Nothing crazy or huge sacrifices. Just small compromises.

 

The only way I see this relationship working is to sit down and seriously talk together. See if he understands where you are and if he is willing to slow down to meet you. You need to decide if you want to push your boundaries and start moving in his direction. If you don't see that happening, then you both should move on.

 

I agree with the other posters who talked about compromise. How true. I was a real career woman when I met my husband. Holding a full time job, going to night school, out of town conferences, sitting on boards, etc. Dating him on weekends. I had given up on love and was just concentrating on my career. One day, he said he had something serious to say to me. He told me something had to give. I had to give up my career activities a little or stop seeing him. I cried. But I knew he was right. I had promised my father and myself that I would try to be "successful" but I realized I had a choice to make, a compromise. You can't have it both ways . I chose love and I still think I made the right choice but my career would be better if I didn't. No regrets.