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Impact of Childhood Experiences on Sexuality

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by BiBoyToy, Feb 1, 2021.

  1. BiBoyToy

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    As weird as it may sound, I wasn't attracted to boys (or at least I didn't realize I was) until I had a same-sex experience with my bestfriend in middle school, but I have always been attracted to girls. I remember being in third grade and telling a friend of mine how attractive I though this girl was that was new to our school. She ended up being my "valentine" in fourth grade. I don't think she took it as serious as I did though, haha!
     
    #21 BiBoyToy, Mar 1, 2021
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  2. Loves books

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    I don’t think that my childhood experiences have affected my sexual orientation. I was never interested in boys in a sexual or romantic way. Once I realised what a crush was I remembered that I had a few as a child all on girls. Mostly older girls and I was in mixed gender schools until I was 11 so I don’t think that played a part in it. I think you are born with your sexual orientation and I don’t think that any experiences can shape it.
     
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  3. Chip

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    It's not uncommon to be blissfully unaware of same-sex attraction until something triggers it. Society has largely done that to us, by sending the message that we should like people of the opposite sex.
     
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  4. I'm gay

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    It had the opposite effect on me. I had some homosexual experiences with two friends (separately) when I was 11-12 years old. By the time I was in my late teens, I had come to the erroneous belief that I had caused my gay feelings by messing around with other boys when I was younger. Combining that belief with shame and fear of HIV/AIDS (it was mid-80s), I think those early experiences just caused more confusion and misunderstanding than it did acceptance. Of course my total lack of education and understanding of my sexuality didn't help me at all.
     
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  5. Kevins1197

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    I was into girls but being around certain boys I felt some things, then realized those were the same feelings I had around certain girls
     
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  6. Spaceseed

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    As far as childhood same sex experience , I remember having real full on erections with my friend (sorry for being graphic ), as on the other end took me more time to achieve with opposite sex , which always had me wonder , if it was because of being shy , orientation, or just being young , dumb & etc ...
     
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  7. BiBoyToy

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    I never had trouble reaching erection with either sex, but I do remember rejecting a move made on me by a girl that I was very attracted to and liked a lot. She put her hand on my crotch and I moved it away and that was it. I think it might of been because I was nervous and not expecting it at all. Looking back, I definitely wish I didn't reject her move.

    On the other hand, I've only had one guy make a move on me (it was my bestfriend that I mentioned in the OP), who I liked a lot and was very attracted to as well but I didn't reject his move. I think it had a lot to do with me expecting it and that he was verbal about the move he was about to make on me.
     
    #27 BiBoyToy, Mar 8, 2021
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  8. BiBoyToy

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    Did you realize you had gay feelings prior to the two homosexual experiences you had?
     
  9. I'm gay

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    No, I didn't. Looking back as an adult, I can see that I had always felt "different" from other boys, even as early as 5-6 years old. I just didn't understand what it meant until much later. At the time of those experiences (ages 11-12), I was just figuring out my attractions.
     
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  10. BiBoyToy

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    When I had my first same-sex experience I was also just starting to figure out my sexuality which caused quite a bit of confusion.
     
    #30 BiBoyToy, Mar 9, 2021
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  11. BiBoyToy

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    *just starting to question my sexuality which caused quite a bit of confusion*

    That's more accurate.
     
  12. BiBoyToy

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    Definitely! :slight_smile:
     
  13. Craig93

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    I am relatively new, and still questioning my sexuality as a whole, but I feel that I can talk about childhood experiences, and growing up no problem.

    When I was a kid (5-7) I had mini crushes on other girls, like kids do.
    Kids are generally more naturally confident of course because you still have your innocence and your lack of understanding about the world.
    I used to come home and talk about one girl, we will call her Jessica. Saying how we were going to get married and have kids etc. As kids do.

    I remember that I really didn't like another girl, or at least don't remember liking another girl, until I hit around 15.
    I remember other boys talking about "insert girl here", and to be honest kind of not really seeing the big deal. Other guys would talk about sex and stuff like that. I remember some people had naked women as wallpapers on their phones, and I just really wasn't too bothered.

    Girls/women just kind of did not interest me much until my first real girl crush, a girl called Amy, in my later years of school.
    It was a very intense crush, it lasted about 5/6 months but ultimately went nowhere.

    Before my first big crush on a girl, I was curious about other guys though. I remember looking up images of male anatomy online, I think more-so out of curiosity. Perhaps I wanted to compare mine to a fully grown adult maybe?, but there was some sexual reasoning there.
    I think looking back, at this point in my life, I feel that I could have labelled myself as bisexual. (I didn't really know what it meant at the time so wouldn't have known), although it is hard to gauge because I was so young.

    Now, did society conform me to exclusively liking the opposite sex? I don't know... I went on to have other crushes on girls before settling with my current partner whom I have been in a long term relationship with.
    I question because these memories have come back to me, and I sometimes find members of the same sex appealing to me, although I feel that I am pickier with guys.

    Anyway that's my story!
     
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  14. BiBoyToy

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    I'm also a lot more picky with guys than women. Higher standards, you could say.
     
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