For reference: I currently identify as a female lesbian. I just watched heartstopper for the first time. I felt a big connection to Nick and Charlie. It made me feel like I could like boys. I guess I've just been so off put by how I've been treated by men in the past that it's just scary to think about. The only issue i have with this is i want to like boys in the same way that a boy would like a boy. I don't know if that makes any sense. Sometimes I go to bed and hope i wake up as a boy. Sometimes i want to try life again (if you get what I mean) because maybe I would be able to be reborn as a boy. It's a feeling that I didn't know I could feel. But seeing the connection and how sweet and loving a relationship could be with a boy makes me want a boyfriend. But I don't know how to navigate wanting to like a boy how a boy would like another boy. It's just really confusing to me.
I totally get your confusion munchkin, don't you worry. I completely get why this is confusing you, and as hard as it may be, not all boys are like the ones who hurt you. What's your friendship group like / relationship history like x
I'm a lesbian and I watched Heartstopper and LOVED it!! I love watching gay m/m couples on shows and movies because there's just something about a m/m onscreen relationship that's so.. idk, sensual? imo it feels more intense and relatable than other relationships are portrayed somehow. Although I enjoy watching them more, I know for a fact that I am gay and don't want to be a boy but I do wonder sometimes whether I'd be a gay male if I was born male. You've just gotta know where the line is for fantasy vs reality. You could be fluid in your gender or your sexuality may not be what you're labeling yourself as, but only you can know for sure. As you learn more about yourself the answer will come to you, just be patient with yourself! It's okay to try things out to see where you fit best, if anywhere
