So, basically, I had a feeling I was not cis probably about a year ago, maybe slightly longer. For the longest time I thought I was poly-genderflux. For me, that is experiencing multiple genders, like genderfluidity, but with varying intensities. But in the past few months I started resenting that identity and started using non-binary. And now I don't even like that anymore. I had loved not being common in the trans community, but now I wish I could just be comfortable being either very feminine or full on FTM. I feel like I'm lost and nothing seems to feel 100% right anymore. I'll look at a very beautiful, feminine woman, like an actress and think, "I want to look like that." But then I turn around and see a buff, masculine guy and think the same thing. I'm sick of questioning and want to be able to be confident in my gender, whether I am on binary FTM or mostly on binary feminine girl.
