I'm sharing this in hopes it helps some of you,

My coming out story is a bit complex and spread out but I can certainly put it into words for the benefit of all of you who are still worried what people may think.

Don't ever forget someone out there loves you for WHO you are, and I extend my hand to anyone in need, or in need of a person to confide in.
(&&&)

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I knew I was gay from a fairly young age, like a lot of you out there I didn't have a word for it but I knew I was different. I started to notice this 'abnormal' thought process in about grade 6, when I was about 10 or 11. I didn't have the same interest in the girls in my classes. I began to notice the boys, I was scared of this obviously but had the benefit of having a lesbian as my mother.

That being said I was still very sheltered by my Dad (whom I lived with as my parents obviously were not together.) I wasn't allowed to watch TV, and spent a good 75% of my free time out side and the other 25% immersed in a good book. I became aware very early what it meant to be "different" I was teased by older classmates, called a rather harsh collection of names. My immediate defense was to deny their claims, because admitting them meant possible physical aggression.

At the end of Grade 8 I moved to live with my mom in a small city, I started grade 9 at a High School I'd never been inside of, having no friends I tried to start over new. I grew to think that other students had this 6th sense and some how knew my secret. The teasing started again, and intensified. This time it came to violence, I was beat up in the boys change room at the end of Gym class one day. My teacher turned a blind eye and pretended nothing happened, and my Mom seemed not to notice my bruises.

As I rolled into Grade 10 I started to resent my fellow students, I'd fallen into a serious depression and hadn't spoken to my Dad in over a year. I had a small group of friends whom I trusted enough to tell my secret too. One of them was very religious and took it hard but his friendship never wavered. I came to school the next day to the word "Faggot" written in thick black marker on the door to my locker. I found my group of friends with concerned looks, and at lunch had people walking up to me and laughing, making fun of the fact that I was gay.

One of my so called friends had spread the word, and had joined the crowd making fun. This was possibly the worst moment I'd had thus far in my life. I was driven further into my depression and started having suicidal thoughts. I spent a lot of time alone in my room listening to music, writing in my journal. If I wasn't home I was with my Friend Jess, who like me was a social outcast. We were the "freaks" at our school.

By this point my Mom had FINALLY taken some notice in my depression, and my anti-social behavior. It was a late summer day in about september, I was in the car with my Mom on the way to London (where I live and go to school now) My Mom was taking an alternate route to the city down some back roads when she suddenly pulled over and stopped the car. She locked the doors and looked at me very seriously and said "Tyler, why does everyone think you're gay?" I was shocked, I didn't know how to respond and was speechless. I wasn't expecting this conversation. I finally managed to blurt out that it was because I am. Now remember as I said before my Mom is also gay, but she didn't take it how I would have expected.

My relationship with her grew cold, I started hanging with the wrong crowd of people, I got involved with drugs and alcohol, and used these vices as my coping strategy for a long time. Things started getting better when I met a guy named Spenser, he is and was probably the love of my life. We met online on a blogging site. He changed my world, we dated for 3 years, myself in Canada, he lived on the boarder of Michigan and Indiana. We met in person, and spent as much time together in person as we could. I slowly began to with draw from my depression and open up to the world.

Life after I met him was amazing, I began to discover an entirely new person within myself. Unfortunately we are no longer together but we are still close and share an unbreakable friendship. We live in different places but we talk on a regular basis.

The next step in my coming out process was telling my Dad. Our relationship had gotten significantly better, we were speaking frequently, and I was starting to visit home again. I really began to discuss being gay with my Dad about 2 years ago after my break up with an ex, I was having a hard time adjusting to college and living on my own in a big city. I never really told him I was gay, I sort of answered the usual "Hows you girlfriend" Question with "Actually ERICH and I broke up" My Dad stood there and Smiled. He gave me a hug and told me how proud he was of me.

There are still times now, 2 years after telling him when I know he is coming to terms and adjusting to having a Gay son. But he's proud of me. Plus I have 2 sisters and he already has 2 grand kids (not mine obviously ;] ) Life since coming out was like lifting a million ton weight off my shoulders. I have a few VERY close friends, a few gay and a few straight. I have a guy that I'm very interested in and the confidence to go out in public as an openly gay young man old. I live on my own, and spend as much time out in the world as I can, sometimes I feel depressed but am reminded daily just how lucky I am to live in the world I do. This is my story, I hope it helps for those of you still treading the murky waters of coming out.

My name is Tyler, I am 21 years old I am Gay, and I am proud.

 

My Mom is one of those people that try to justify the things she does, yet if you do the same she is 100% against you. She's always been like that =\