I'm non binary but I think I want to be a male

You need a safe space to talk about this, CharLeLuca. I'm guessing you're under 16..? And this would mean it's hard to access counselling without your parents' knowledge.

Initially I would use LGTBQ+ helplines - their volunteers are trained to talk to people just coming to terms with their identity, just like you. That's what I did last year when I first had my revelation about my gender and I found them invaluable in terms of getting my head round who I am. Do a Google search - there could well be a specific one for people of your age group in the UK.

Good luck!

Beth

 

Yeah, I think maybe counselling could help. Or a attending a local support group? Or signing up to some support groups on social media? You can also talk about it here if you want to.

If you wanted to transition, I would advise changing the way you dress first and seeing how you feel about it. If androgynous fitting women's clothes don't work, you can give a try to men's clothes. You can get a short haircut. Get a binder. You can try out a masculine name and pronouns in support groups and/or online, see how you feel about presenting more masculine from the beginning. Because I personally feel like you won't get the same quality of experience of you come out to people you knew before and ask them to use different pronouns.

Then there are more permament steps of transiton, like medical and legal transition. Legal transition means changing your legal name and possibly gender marker. Medical transition involves taking male hormones (testosterone) and surgeries: most go for removal of breasts and removal of the internal organs (uterus and ovaries). Removing breasts helps pass better, removing the uterus and ovaries helps prevent cancer which can occur when you take hormones. There is also possibility or creating a penis, but most FtM folks don't do it, because the results leave a lot to be desired for many and the surgery is expensive. Also, when you take testosterone, your clitoris grows larger, to the size of a micropenis and it's sufficient for many trans dudes. Apart from this, testosterone makes you grow facial hair, gives you a lower voice and generally - makes you look like a guy.

 

Cool

Not really, in my opinion, it's hard to find mental health proffessionals who can help with gender issues. It's counterintuitive, but most don't know much about it and the most they can do is respect the patient's/counselee's gender identity and expression. So it's best to find a therapist who specializes in gender therapy when you already are done with what you currently have to deal with. Maybe exploring resources online would be better now and it will be less intensive and hence less of strain too.

A fresh start makes sense, yup.

I'm not sure which resources to recommend. I haven't done a lot of research for years in this topic. Social media groups are good for finding out how legals procedures work locally, which office to pick etc. and for finding out specifics about local doctors. More general information and country-specific information (I'm not from the UK) should be available on blogs if you google "ftm transition" and similar phrases or can be linked on forums and groups. This subforum of EC has linked resources at the top of the site too. But generally FtM medical transition involves:
- hormone replacement therapy with testosterone: there are several meds on the market, a few kinds of injections and gel with testsosterone to be applied on the skin, the gel gives lower levels and hence slower changes
- mastectomy (removal of breasts)/ "top surgery"
- hysterectomy /"hysto" (removal of uterus and ovaries) : there are different techniques, but generally the surgeon decides on them. Smaller breasts mean possibility of smaller incision and less scarring.
- metoidoplasty or phalloplasty : two different techniques of creating a penis / also called "bottom surgery". Metoidoplasty is more like exposing the clitoris that grows from testosterone. Phalloplasty involves a skin graft from some other part of the body and inserting implants.

 

It makes total sense to me. I live semi-stealth (I only tell people who have to know about my birth assignment: this means people I am intimate with (my husband only), medical personnel and such essential people).

The people who I have known from the UK have said that there you first talk to your general physician and get a referral to a trans clinic from there they know the process which does take a while.