It's been a long time since I've posted here. The fact of the matter is, I've been doing a lot better with feeling secure about being gay and not feeling so totally ashamed...at least that's what I thought. It's like this: I've been meeting a lot of new people this year. I've found it to be fairly easy to come out to people who are new to me. I barely even have to think about it. It's people I've known for years that I still have issues working up the courage to tell. I think it's just that I really care what people think about me (that's one of my more annoying qualities) and my past acquaintances know me to be a very nice, classy, proper Christian boy. I guess I don't want them thinking anything else...and I know that's not a big deal, but...I don't know. I still have to come out to my dad. A dream I had 2 nights in a row in which I had a terrible fight with him has shied me away from doing it...We aren't very close emotionally so I just don't know how to get on that level with him.
This is a common issue. Its mostly to do with "shame" around sexuality .. and there are very good books and YouTube videos about it. I will try and post if I can just remember the authors! Do you have any good close friends in real life you can also talk to about these things?