I'm a female high school student living in the bible belt so there isn't much education on sexual orientation. All of the info I know is from the internet and the few friends (I'm not very social) I have that are part of LGBTQ+. Lately I have been questioning my sexuality but I can't seem to find the right one. Normally I wouldn't care about a label but I want a label to come out to my parents with. My parents are religious (I'm kinda am too) and they know even less then I do about terms but I think if I have a label it could help me explain to them. Anyway I'm sexual attracted to guys (like a lot) and I'm romantically attracted to them, but when it comes to girls that where I'm confused. I'm not really sexually attracted to girls, occasionally I find a girl (who tend to dress androgynous) attractive but mostly I crave a relationship with them not really sex. I hope my point is clear and not as confusing for others as it is to me. ~Grace
Hello Grace! Welcome to EC! As you surmise, actually labeling your sexuality isn't anywhere nearly as important as simply understanding it for yourself. And,ultimately, ONLY you can understand your own sexuality. If you choose to label it for the benefit of others, that is always your choice. Sexual orientation is about your romantic and sexual attractions. From your short description, I would ask you to perhaps think more about your attractions to girls. There is a definite difference between romantic and sexual attractions as opposed to strong friendship/platonic attractions. For example, have you ever felt that you could have a long-term romantic relationship with another girl? You said that you don't really "crave" sex with another girl, but could you even possibly see yourself in a sexual relationship with another girl? I'm certainly not trying to imply that this is true for you, but in some cases, gay and bi people initially have a harder time imaging themselves in romantic and/or sexual relationships with a same-sex partner mainly because of discriminatory attitudes against that which we are taught (by our culture, society, religion, etc) as we grow up. Just some thoughts.
Thanks for responding! You were right, I don't crave sex with a girl. If I found a girl and I liked her personality I wouldn't mind dating. I would wait a bit into the relationship to have sex and even then I think I would have more pleasure pleasing her than myself. So I wouldn't be completely against having a sexual relationship with a female I just don't crave it like I do males.
Hey Grace, Then I would recommend that you just keep exploring your feelings. There is not need to come to an immediate 'conclusion'. In fact, a large number of people don't come to a final understanding of their sexuality until much later in life. In other words, just go with the flow. If you feel it necessary to Come Out to your parents or others, perhaps consider just telling them that you aren't heterosexual/straight. What does it matter to anyone else how you may choose to specifically define your sexuality?
Thanks again! I guess you right about the immediate conclusion. I think my parents could eventually understand If I just say that I'm not straight. Now I wait till I can actually gather the courage to tell them that. Again thanks for the responses, you really helped!
I don't if anyone wants a update but here it is. Looking back at this post is hard, I was so confused. I was struggling with my religion and the belief of my family. I didn't want to be gay. I didn't want to have to tell all my friends that I wasn't as straight as I claimed. I had one or two friends who are part of the LGBTQA+ community but none of them really struggled with family. Then I met this girl. Emma fought a lot with her mom at first and her mom still isn't 100% supportive but accepts her sexuality. Emma is hot. I had a crush on Emma for awhile but now we are just good friends. Emma was there when I started to come out to friends and even when I came out to my mom. I started watching Miles Mckenna videos and he helped so much. I finaly decided that I rather be hated for what I am then loved for what I'm not. I'm not scared anymore. I'm Bisexual.
Wow, thanks for the update. All I can say is you go girl! So you started the process with friends, with Emma around, and then upped it to mom. That is very brave, and you just condensed it into a sentence. Around here that could be a whole infinite thread. Your last sentences are very inspiring! I hope Emma is a good winggirl for you. And what if she starts seeing how good you are? (OK I will not ship couples here in EC, I will not ship couples....)
Haha emma is a great wing girl! Though now I am in a relationship with my boyfriend, so that service isn't needed right now.XD I'm out now to almost everyone I know and I'm so happy!
