So, I left a while ago after something I said got misunderstood. Sorry if this is the wrong place to post this Sorry about all that again *bows anime style* I just came back because, Well... I have no friends. In real life, or online, everyone is so fake and lies to me, they say they care and want to talk but then I don't hear from them for weeks on end, I tried to make effort with my workmates but that's gone no where, all the others forums I'm part of I feel like a bother now So, I'm so depressed, and this is like, I'm trying one last thing, before I completely give up on life
We are here for you, regardless of any mistakes you have made in the past. If you want to talk about something specific just make a thread or post on my wall - I will respond as quickly as I can.
I echo the above. We're here for you man. We all make mistakes and are misunderstood for things. All we can do is forgive and move forward.
I understand how hard it can be to form and keep friendships in real life. But it can also really be a struggle to get rewarding communication online. Its hard to judge friendships and its easy to discard them at a drop of a hat once something happens in real life (at least initially). Its also quite hard here, to break out of the forum security, to be able to form more meaningful friendships... I would suggest applying to become a Full Member here asap to start off with. Venom, I dont know you well at all, but from what I have seen, you can be a very sensitive and defensive personality. This coupled with your low self esteem means that it is very very easy for you to see the negative side of things and then make it a bigger and bigger thing in your head. I'm not saying you should change your personality (far from it; I think you're great), but, from what I can tell, you need to recognise this in yourself before you can truly start to form real and lasting friendships. Because otherwise you will keep on sabotaging yourself. Welcome back though. I still feel a bit guilty about you leaving. I hope you stick around this time.
I know, that was a little because I was dealing with a lot and then just felt like my words were twisted, and a little who I am. You see, I'm a very emotional person, well, inwardly, and I express that through words, I have to, I can't keep how I feel to myself. I also try to treat everyone with kindness and equality, but I've been taken advantage of and beaten down so much, that I just become defensive now despite craving strong friendships I don't want people to see who I am any more in a way, because no one likes me, everyone always wants something or to throw you aside Like, with my workmate, we agreed we would attend a group party tonight, and that they would let me know around 3 for certain, the event was at 6, and I've heard nothing, they claim to be my friend and stuff to my face, but they don't contact me like this, and then talk behind my back about me That and my other workmate keeps bothering me and homophobicly harassing me So I've just started to shut down I can't remember if I said or not, but my best friend died last year, the only one who treated me like a friend, and I still miss him so much And I've been working obviously, and every day is a struggle, yet people want to keep bringing me down or want more from me And I just don't have anything left to give On top of that I'm single, my town doesn't have a scene outside of hookups, I'm looking for a serious relationship and guys won't consider me cause im a bit fat So I really don't know what I'm supposed to do, I'm know as this happy positive person when I'm really dead on the inside
Im very sorry to hear about all of what has happened and what is happening to you. I especially couldnt imagine losing such a close friend in that way... that must be so hard. I havent had to endure much of what you have but, honestly, you remind me a lot of myself which is why I like you a lot. I would highly recommend sticking around and creating a few threads about your issues. This forum has helped me so much over the years and I really believe that it can do so for you too. Welcome back again
We try our very best to be supportive here, even if that sometimes means we'll challenge you. Nothing that is posted on the forum should come from a place of nastiness or hostility and if it does we (the staff) will remove it. If people make the most of the forum and take part in discussions and try to help with advice it is possible to form some good connections, over time. In the four years I have been here I have spoken to some great people and shared a lot with them (although not necessarily on the public forum). If you stick around and follow the Code of Conduct you will become eligible for full membership and may be able to form some closer connections with other members. It sounds like you have been through and are still going through an awful lot and we'd definitely like to help with some kind, friendly support. What needs to change in your life to get you to a happier place? Some things may be more achievable than others, but let's see if talking to us and getting some feedback and positive regard helps a bit.
I probably wasn't here when "all that" happened, so I can be a "clean slate" friend. Message me anytime, if you want. I'm going through a pretty deep depression right now and I understand feeling lonely and isolated. I thought seriously about ending my life about two weeks ago, and I'm thankful that I didn't, but I'm still suffering from depression, I guess that part doesn't magically go away, lol. Anyway, I'm willing to be here for you if you need it.
