I'm about to eat a bullet

Glad you didn't go through with it. Don't worry about not knowing how to respond, we are all just glad you are still here.

 

It is really lovely to see you are still here with us. I was getting worried about you. It's okay not knowing exactly what to say or how to respond, we are just grateful to know you are still here and you are actively doing things now to help yourself get better. Take your time with it all and just know we are all here for you.

 

I couldn't possibly put into words how relieved I am that you are still alive Sam. I don't know you and I'm not sure if we talked on here before, but I am honestly so happy that you are still alive. I know what it's like to feel that way, and I understand your reasoning and mindset, but you have to keep on fighting. You have to keep on surviving. I know you can overcome all the hell in your life, because I overcame all the hell in mine. I may not know you, but I care about you and I know that a lot of other people do too. This is clear by all the other posts you have received here. You are wanted, and although the world can be a very dark place at times, you must remember that it can also be very beautiful place too. Life is worth living in the end. Never forget that all the darkness in existence cannot extinguish even then tiniest light, but light can always extinguish the darkness. I am incredibly sorry to hear about all of the hell you have gone through, but you can get through this and find happiness. I wish you the best of luck and will be rooting for you all the way. Please hang in there Sam. You are stronger than you could ever imagine. Never be fooled into being weak and never give up. You may not always feel like you are, but you are always wanted and loved, even if it's by people you don't know and have never met. It can get better if you never give up and never stop fighting for it. Happiness isn't impossible for you, and I know that you can find it. Best of luck, my friend.

 

(*hug*)
I feel for you and just have no words. glad your here

 

Oh Sam, thank any and every god that ever existed that you are still here.

First of all, I just want to say that I've been where you are. I've felt suicidal since I was eight. The littlest thing can set it off, but I always manage to wrestle it down. How? I think. I think of the people who need or might in the future need me. I think of what I'm leaving behind, the simple, happiest sensations; the smell of water on the air, a beautiful sunset, leaves and branches, the feeling I get while reading, the feelings I get when I'm writing. I realize something. Even if I am reincarnated as someone or something else (which I believe has and will happen) I won't be quite the same as this me, this person. I won't ever experience ANYTHING the same way again after I die, and the fact that I could be wrong and death really is the end... that terrifies me. The uncertainty of death, the lack of real, concrete proof that points in any direction terrifies me.
If you keep feeling this way, weigh the good against the bad. Think of the things you'll never be able to experience again, all the beauty, though it may be sparse, that still remains in the world. Think of the problems that need solving, the love you'll find, the good you can do. Think of the people like you-at least in the low millions- that you can at least try to help.

And just think of the way that I opened this post. "Thank god you're alive." Just think about that. A complete and total stranger cares enough to thank god that you put the gun down. Just think how many more people can and will feel that way.

Even in the darkest night, there are stars. Look hard enough, head away from the streetlights if you have to, but look. They're there.

 

(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)

 

Dear Sam,
You are in,our thoughts and prayers.

I tried to commit suicide when I was 17. I had a loaded shotgun in my mouth, and was ready to end it, but just couldn't. I felt like it had even failed at that. But the truth is, I didn't fail. Deep inside me, I made a choice to live. Looking back, I am so thankful that I did not do it. There is so much to live for, at the time, all I could see was the pain. Pain passes. It is only one part of life, but it is not all of it.

That moment was a turning point for me. I hope this moment is a turning point for you, that you will seek, and find the help you need to be made whole, to know you are loved, and to live life fully.

 

Hey Sam,

We are relieved beyond measure. This is for you:

I am sure that a lot of these definitions will apply to you in the coming days and weeks. We are hopeful that you will find your own redemption, and the beginning of it all is your own precious life.

Be well, Sam!

 

Xx hugs

 

How the fuck does this happen in Colorado?

 

Sam, I haven't been on in a while, and I just read this thread. But I can't tell you how much I'm happy that you're alive. Suicide is never the answer, and I'm so happy that you didn't go through with it. I'm glad that you'd going to the hospital, it's always a better option.
(*hug*)
We're always here for you

 

Sam...I'm kinda new here myself and I've been off the forums for a bit, but I just wanted to say...I'M GLAD THAT YOU'RE STILL HERE.
Keep fighting...there's a lot of nice people here that care! (*hug*)

 

That gave me the shivers reading that.. I honestly do think it is a sign that someone was watching over you on that night. ~hugs you~ I do hope it all gets better for you and you are able to get some therapy. Just stay strong and know that one day it will get better for you.

 

Sam I am glad that you are being honest with us... I also got shivers reading that... You are loved and I am thankful that the bullet was bad... I am thankful that I might get to know you! I have no answers to what you are asking... I just know that we are all better for the dud bullet that you chose... HUGS

 

Sam, taking into account all of the good, bad and the ugly that life has to offer, life is a journey worth living. Take each day as part of a larger adventure, your own adventure. There is so much to live for.

 

Are you in school? If yes then find someone there to talk to who can maybe find a way to help you find therapy or at least someone to talk to. Also try going to social services and see if you can speak to someone. I know this may seem strange, but look for religious organizations that could be lgbt friendly and ask for help there. Do some research online and you will find something. The biggest thing is usually asking for the help, if the person you ask can't help, they can usually point you in another direction.
And it was not an accident you had a dud bullet. It was a second chance. Take it and be the amazing person you are. Make some positive changes in your life and take control. First step, find some help. It's out there.

 

You are worth it.
You are worth it.you are worth it.you are worth it.you are worth it.you are worth it.you are worth it.you are worth it.you are worth it.you are worth it.you are worth it.you are worth it.you are worth it.you are worth it.you are worth it.you are worth it.you are worth it.you are worth it.you are worth it.you are worth it.you are worth it.you are worth it.you are worth it.you are worth it.you are worth it.you are worth it.you are worth it.you are worth it.you are worth it.you are worth it.you are worth it.



keep fighting