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If you could say anything...

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Blossom85, Sep 17, 2014.

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  1. GlindaRose

    GlindaRose
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    If I could say anything, it would be to my friend, and it would be this:

    I accept that we are not the same in terms of online interaction and social correspondence. I would never ask you to change who you are or how you are; however, what I do ask is that you think of me as well. I have no desire to impose myself on you in any way, but I can't help but think that since we're friends, it ought to feel a little less one sided. To that end, would you be willing to check your g-mail a little more often, and maybe let me know if you're going to take a while to reply? It would help me greatly because it means I won't have to wonder when you're going to get back to me, or worry about it being some form of rejection. Thanks.

    ---

    Sheesh, that sounds colder than I intended. :S
     
    #21 GlindaRose, Sep 25, 2014
  2. Weekender

    Weekender
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    My brother,

    You used up our college money because you're too scared to talk about how you're really feeling. You don't know how mad I actually am about that, but you don't know how much I love you either.
     
    #22 Weekender, Sep 25, 2014
  3. Blossom85

    Blossom85
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    I wish you were here with me right now.. I feel like I am falling for you all over again.. You are always there for me and even though you need time to yourself to get your anxiety and panic attacks controlled.. You still message me and let me know you are thinking of me and that gives me those butterflies back.. When we first met, I dunno why I ever thought that I could never love you this way simply cause you are a girl.. It was still at a time when I was very much considering myself straight, but now I am happy with who I am and I feel so blessed to share what we have.. I just wish we lived closer to each other because honestly.. Right now.. All I want is you.. You make me feel happy, safe, content and just relaxed.. And if I had you right beside me.. Trust me.. I would never let you go.
     
    #23 Blossom85, Oct 2, 2014
  4. AsheTheHuman

    AsheTheHuman
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    I left. Everything just got too stressful. The forced religion, my name, the teachers, you guys. You've all changed. What happened? The three of us used to be best friends. We'd battle imaginary monsters together on the play ground. Other friends came and went, but throughout all those years, the three of us stuck together. We had fights, sure. But at the end of the day, we were friends. I talk like I don't know what happened, but I think I do. Him. There's something about him. Charisma? Maybe. He's cute, for sure. I may of even started crushing on him for a little bit. He was the edgy new kid in eighth grade I guess. You've always wanted to impress the new kids. Too bad you needed to be jerks to impress this one. And what was the administration supposed to do? They couldn't seriously punish him, and by extent you; his dad was a teacher at the only Catholic high school in the area. Risk breaking the connection with them? Fat chance. Fast forward three years and look what's happened. We've all drifted apart. I hear you two constantly trash the other behind their back. I'm caught in the middle and I can't take it anymore. And you're telling me you've been smoking pot? I'm all for legalization, but that's so dangerous. If anyone caught you, you'd be expelled and kicked out and who knows what else? And you know what? You'd probably come to me. There was one point where I'd follow you to the ends of the Earth. Where I'd actively defend you at a time when I didn't know how to defend myself. I sent a text to my best friend earlier, telling them everything and why I've disappeared from school. I didn't send a text to you. Call me when you've grown up.
     
    #24 AsheTheHuman, Oct 2, 2014
  5. Kriskluwe

    Kriskluwe Guest

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    We talked and I'm chill now . I get so amped up because I guess I'm still adjusting to your XY and my XY bangin zygotes . Fuck you're so beautiful . I want to be inside your mind and body all the time man. I should have laid off the whole church thing too . I get it about their rules . I can't think about anything else except you all fkn day . I was gonna be miserable today and you kept calling and texting and it's messed up to me that you can work me like that but at least someone can. It was immature of me to wig over some random high school c. And thinking about that turned into a mind fuck for me .

    ---------- Post added 2nd Oct 2014 at 03:22 AM ----------

    I said about 1/4 of it .
     
    #25 Kriskluwe, Oct 2, 2014
  6. Blossom85

    Blossom85
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    Dear my sweetest Lyla,

    I know this won't be read by you, as far as I know, you aren't a member here, but anyway. I hope you are doing well, I still miss talking to you and being able to share what is happening in my life and knowing what is going on in yours. It has been a very long almost two years for me to be able to let you go and move on. I still don't think I have fully let you go, but I am really close to getting there. You were my first love, the first person man or woman I had ever felt that way for. Looking back, I still know it was love for me. I really hope it was for you as well. I wanted to marry you, I wanted to grow old with you and live a happy life together, but it's never gonna happen, it's never gonna be the same. You cut me out of your life in such a bad and terrible way that I don't even have closure.

    I tried my hardest to get you to talk to me, you never answered back, so I had to face the fact it was all over even as friends for us. I still have no idea why you walked away from our friendship that way, part of me hopes that perhaps you still loved me in a romantic way and you couldn't bare to talk to me anymore knowing we could never be anything more then friends. Another part of me which hates to think this, but does, thanks that your new girlfriend might have had a part in you pushing me away that way. I don't really hate many people, but I hate her for coming in between what we had. To think you were saying all those sweet loving things to her, the same things you used to say to me, just about killed me. I never would have done it, but I did wonder what was the point of living when I didn't have the one person I wanted next to me living with me.

    I still sometimes wish things were different and I could just at least message you and know you would reply to me, at least once. I don't understand why you cut me off, why you did that. Just began ignoring me like I didn't exist anymore. I could never pretend you don't exist, you did so much for me, made me realize who I was, made me wanna be a better person, made me smile and laugh. Hell, even my mum could see, even if I didn't tell her till after the fact. I still wonder how you are, if you are with her still or have moved on to someone else or are single, I could easily check by going on Facebook and looking your name up, but I just can't do that. I just can't hurt myself that way. Either way, you don't want me as anything or else you would have contacted me back at some point.

    I often think about us and how we were so good together, how we just knew each other in a way that no one else could understand. We had I guess what Cas called, 'A profound bond'. I listen to We belong together and although I am not yours and you are not mine anymore, I still feel that we belong together, I feel we are truly soul mates. I don't know about you, but I do. You took my heart and broke it into a million little pieces, letting it shatter to the ground. I don't think I have found all the pieces yet, I am still looking for them. It still hurts so much to know you betrayed me and lied to me that way, that you failed to tell me something so important cause it could have helped me in moving on quicker, but no. You let me find out the hard way cause you were too much of a coward to actually tell me.

    I wish I didn't think about you, I wish I could be so over you already, but part of me wonders if there will always be a little part of me that is never fully over you. First loves are hard to get over and ours was so intense and so incredible. I miss you and I still love you in a way.. I am not in love with you, but I still love and care for you.. Who knows what might happen if we talked again or met each other like we always planned, but I can't think of that, I need ways of looking beyond and towards a brighter and better future, cause you had your chance and I would never let you back in even if you did come back to me, mainly cause I have self respect and could never let you hurt me again the way you did.

    Love always,
    Laurie xx
     
    #26 Blossom85, Oct 2, 2014
  7. CyanChachki

    CyanChachki
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    To the woman I still have feelings for:

    I realize that it's been 9 years since we've broken up. I know that it was a long time ago but the reason why you broke up with me was because I told you that I was thinking about transitioning. Last year, you confessed to me that you where now into men and that upset me a little bit because that was the reason why you decided to end things between us. Yet, over the past year, and a half, I've been hoping that you would come around and tell me that you made a mistake and that you still loved me too. I know I've dated others but in the end, I still think about you and only you.

    I've been trying to muster up the courage to ask you out. You're coming in January, so you say.. to visit me and your friend. Hearing that made me excited and I've never felt closer to winning you over... but the other day I saw you kissing someone else. I saw you kissing a girl who you've been hanging out with a lot. My world came crashing down when I realized that you lived miles away from me. I'll probably be hurt for awhile because of my stupid self building up this fantasy that was more than likely never going to happen but I just wanted to say that even though I'm hurt, I still want you to be happy. If your new girlfriend is what makes you happy, then that's all that matters to me too. :slight_smile:
     
    #27 CyanChachki, Oct 2, 2014
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