Nobody thought I was bi. Except for some guys in high school who mockingly called me it, whether they noticed I liked a couple of the guys in class and picked up on it or just "kids being kids" unsure. My friends and family? Were all surprised. My Mom and Sister thought I was homophobic because I originally backed away from any subject that included it, didn't like the stereotypical image connotation, and had difficulty accepting fully flamboyant gays... It's just people see gay/bi guys in the media as those who are flamboyant. Just look at 'Glee' for example. While most people see Collin Farrell as purely a womanizer straight-laced heterosexual, read up on rumors from the 'Alexander' set though? He and Jared Leto (who later came out as 'undeclared') were all over each other. The majority of people? Wouldn't get that. So it's... people think a guy who likes guys has to be closer to a girl in nature, when that simply isn't the case.
Same here. Admittedly I was slightly homophobic to one of my used-to-be-close friends (we fell out because all he seemed to do after he came out was talk about his sexuality and go around being irritating and whatnot), but a lot of people were surprised that I was bisexual. That being said, due to me being a late starter in puberty, I was "asexual" until about age 13/14. People did call me gay when I was younger, partly as a 'playground insult', partly because I'm just slightly flamboyant/have a lisp/slightly effeminate. But it was rather ironic that most of that bullying disappeared just before I came out.
For some reason (I think I recall another thread on this) this came to mind: [YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=in9SiDtJLaU[/YOUTUBE] Being gay means you're attracted to men. Simple as that. There are no 'markers' as such. There aren't things that 'make you gay' or 'mean you're gay'. You're gay cos you like men. Not because of your fashion sense/femininity/etc.
First and foremost... BE YOU. No matter what it looks like, how you act, how it may seem to others. You have the right and deserve the freedom to express yourself however you feel most comfortable. Also... "looks", to me, are someone's form of judgment. People don't have to "look" gay. Being gay has nothing to do with the way you look. It's who you are and just a characteristic. When someone says "I'd never have thought you were gay..." is probably a surprised reaction. Maybe they mean "I would have never guessed." because they knew you for a long time being "straight" or maybe it just came out of the blue and that was their reaction. Regardless... Don't worry about how you "look" in terms of being gay. That's ridiculous if you ask me. Hopefully this helps!
