I hate myself quite a lot for a lot of different things and I know that its not good for me but I don't know how to stop. I tried reminding myself of the things I like about myself but there are always more things that I dislike about myself than what I like and that just makes it worse. I especially have this about my fencing (for those who don't know, its an Olympic swordfighting sport). I really want to do well at it but I'm not that good and I hate it when I get something wrong and now I put myself on an extra training programme but sometimes I don't stick to it and that then makes me feel even worse when I struggle in my class. I have also been hurting myself when I feel like that not anything drastic but I punch myself or a wall or something to punish myself. I know it won't help me get better at it by beating myself up and my coach has also told me that a few times but I don't know how to stop. I want to get it right so badly and I get so frustrated with myself when I don't. It's not just fencing its a few other things as well. The other thing I really hate about myself is that I cannot control my emotions and I cry far too often when I get angry or sad or whatever and I don't want to be like that! I try so hard but it always spills out. I know that its not good for me to feel like this but I also don't just want to except things the way they are. I'm sorry for the length of the post and for if I sound silly and petty which I probably do but I would be glad of any advice on this matter. Thanks.
i got really badly injured during cross country season and i was super pissed off about it. ik where you are coming from and i'm here if you need someone to talk to...
(Okay for some reason I kept on reading swordfighting as swordfish :icon_redf) I'd say it's good that it bothers you when you get something wrong in say fencing or school. I know some kids that just don't care, or they'll cut corners. I play the piano, so I kind of know how it feels to get something wrong despite working so hard... sometimes it's just best to "take a step back" and see things from a different perspective. Just try something new and see what happens :icon_bigg Don't beat yourself up about anything! Everyone has their own problems, even if it doesn't seem like it. My emotions get uncontrollable as well, and I guess sometimes it's good to let them out. If you're feeling kind of alone it's also really helpful if you have a friend you can talk to, about anything.
Thanks for your replies guy's. It helps. I really appreciate it and thanks for reading through the whole thing.☺
Hey there! I come from an extremely athletic family and I have been heavily involved in sport my whole life. I know exactly where you're coming from, I experience it all the time when I have a bad game or perform poorly at practice. Firstly, I would like to address the topic of self-harm. I also have a history of self-harm and I used to use it as a way to help me calm down. I have recently been trying to stop but it is extremely difficult. I don't know how long or how often you have been self-harming, but I would urge you to please stop ASAP if you can. It is NOT worth it in the long run! I know you may think that since you are using non-lethal methods to hurt yourself that it isn't a big deal but it really is. You DO NOT deserve the self-inflicted pain! Please try to use alternative methods to help you cope with the feelings you are experiencing. A quick Google search should help you find a few or I could send you some methods that have helped me Now, onto the issue of hating yourself. I know it can be extremely difficult when you are caught up in the moment and nothing is going right for you but please try to step back and take a few deep breaths when you feel yourself getting wound up. I recommend the 4-7-8 method, breathe in for 4 seconds, hold it for 7 seconds and breathe out for 8 seconds. If this doesn't help then please try to talk to someone you trust, a close friend or family member because keeping it bottled up inside will make it way worse. You could also alternatively write down what you are thinking/feeling or draw a picture about it, anything to let it out. I would recommend seeing a therapist to try and help you through this, because it sounds like you are going through a really tough time at the moment. I will always be here if you need someone to talk/vent to Stay safe my friend
