I wish that I could be transitioning.

Depression skews your perceptions and makes everything sadder and bleaker. Once you treat your depression, you will start becoming aware of the more positive aspects about yourself and the world around you. I've found hope and peace of mind in the smallest, seemingly inconsequencel details, in the laughter of the children in my family, in the sun and beauty of the world outside, in eating a meal that I enjoyed. How would you like your life to be different, what do you truly want from life? What would make you happy? If your mind tells you, there is nothing that will make you happy, it is your depression talking and try to ask again until you get a different answer. Once you have your answer, ask yourself what small actions you can take today so your hopes become a reality? The smallest of action that you can take, because even the smallest of action when repeated enough times will bring with it the tide of change. (*hug*)

 

Why does it have to be a struggle to learn? I mean as kids, we all loved it. If you learn something you care about, you will have the passion of a child again. Remember your dreams. What are/were they?

And since you want to transition: What keeps you from that? Money? Conservative environment?

 

May I ask how old you are and what your financial situation is?

 

Weren't we already discusing that in her previous thread?

 

I don't know, probably didn't read or forgot it.

 

I wish you lived somewhere nearby, damn it Ramlethal, I'd tell you to go for a coffee.

 

Hey, wouldn't it be a tragedy if you died before getting to spend even a single day expressing yourself fully as your true gender? And what about all the other opportunities you'd miss out on? Things may seem completely shitty now but they won't be forever. Please don't commit suicide. If you need a hotline you can call 1-800-273-8255.

 

You have nothing to lose so you say. But you have everything to gain then. Only you can make it happen. If it's what you want, make it yours.

 

Believe it or not (and trust me, I often don't believe it), you have so much to experience, even if you don't feel you have anything to hope for. Wouldn't you like to spend a day as your true gender? See something majestic? Meet amazing people?

I know it seems bleak, no matter how hopeful it may seem to others. But seriously, even if you can't feel a shred of happiness and all seems black, dark, and hopeless, there is hope, because so many have found it.

I have spent countless hours fantasizing about my death and funeral, hours scarring my body, hours wishing to have the pain end, and many more hours trying to distract myself. Even if you can't live for your own happiness, live to try and keep the people around you from feeling your pain. Losing a loved one, especially to suicide, wounds souls. It creates depression, and we know how crippling it is.

There is hope, even if we can't see it. There is so much to live for, and we'll never know what we'll miss if we end our lives early.

Peace, hope, hugs and love.

 

Ramlethal, I am not able to transition either. If I can stay alive so can u. Why can u not transition?_ is there anything that u could do to stop it worrying u