I am almost 30 years old and I don't have a girlfriend. Having Aspergers makes navigating the social world stressful and sometimes exasperating. I am scared of being alone forever.
You can definitely get a girlfriend man, I know it seems hard but it's actually a pretty straightforward process. It's hard to find a good girlfriend, but not hard to just find any girl to date. This system worked really well for me when I dated girls before I realized I'm not straight. 1. Be interesting in at least 3 ways. If you don't have 3 things, then go find 3 things. It can be a hobby, a really cool experience, a passionate topic you can talk about forever etc. like one of my friends who did this uses skydiving, playing guitar, and dancing. One year ago he was a 22 year old virgin. He went skydiving a few times, took a few guitar classes in college, and took some free Latin dance classes. Now he's 23 and has gotten laid by 8 different girls so far this year. Girls like interesting people. 2. Be confident. If you don't have confidence, then make up some fake confidence. I use this all the time. I'm really nervous about stuff sometimes, but nobody I know would ever suspect that because I project false confidence outwards. If I'm scared of talking to someone, I take a second or two to compose my thoughts, then walk directly up to them, say some pre-rehearsed general thing and then look into their eyes the entire conversation. You'd be amazed how much you can get through confidence alone. I've seen a friend walk up to a total stranger, said something like 'hey sorry I'm late for our date, I got stuck in traffic' and no joke he was so confident about it the girl just assumed she agreed to go on a date with him earlier but forgot about it, so they then actually sat down and had a date right there on the spot. 3. Don't care. I know how strange it sounds, but the less you care about going on a date the more likely it will happen. If you go around to every girl really wanting to go on a date, they'll sense the desperation and say no. If you just casually ask them out like going out with them is as exciting to you as ordering a pizza they'll be more likely to say yes. Girls can sense clingy guys from a mile away and they avoid them - they want a casual boyfriend not someone who stacks all of their romantic hopes and dreams on them.
Good advice Destin, spot on. You pretty much have to do/have all that to find a decent guy as well, so it goes both ways.
I realize that desperation is unhealthy but I find it almost impossible to not be desperate. All my siblings, including my half-siblings, are married and I see couples almost everywhere I go while I am all alone. I also didn't date in high school and my attempts to get out of my rut have been unsuccessful. I fear that either my time is running out or maybe it already has because I didn't learn the dating game in my teen years. I feel like I have the mental equivalent of a heart attack but I go through the day without getting any treatment. I am not shooting down anything you say, the depression I suffer from is just so strong that I don't know if it can ever be treated.
