1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

I will improve.

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Canterpiece, Aug 9, 2018.

  1. Canterpiece

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2015
    Messages:
    1,103
    Likes Received:
    18
    Location:
    England
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Stuck in the past, don't know how long this is going to last. I want to move on, and I will. For once in my life, I refuse to let time stand still. Feelings are trapped, don't want another relapse. I fear that if I move on I will become dull and everyone will tire of me. But I make this promise to myself, to live in the moment for once instead of becoming a ghost of past memories repeating in my brain making me question my own sanity.

    I want change, but I don't know what exactly. Almost as if there's something that's missing and I can't figure out what.
     
  2. Claire2

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2018
    Messages:
    13
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Quebec
    Gender:
    Androgyne
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Family only
    I don’t know you, but you look brave.
    Go Canterpiece!
    :slight_smile:
     
    #2 Claire2, Aug 10, 2018
    Last edited: Aug 10, 2018
  3. Canterpiece

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2015
    Messages:
    1,103
    Likes Received:
    18
    Location:
    England
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Thank you. I'm not sure why on Earth I made this thread, sometimes I just get weird moods and make vague threads that probably don't make much sense out of context, then I later regret making them. :face_palm:

    This probably would have been better as a profile post, but oh well.
     
  4. emerry

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2015
    Messages:
    1,925
    Likes Received:
    236
    Location:
    Europe
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    isn't it the other way round usually? If you don't move on, people around you start to be bored to death with your talking.

    Anyway, it seems like a positive direction to get unstuck. it seems to me like you have too little going on in life, hence you feel like you're going nuts. Which is completely normal. Bored brain starts to actively look for activities for itself, sometimes not in a healthy way.
     
  5. Canterpiece

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2015
    Messages:
    1,103
    Likes Received:
    18
    Location:
    England
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Well, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I find myself retelling the same stories because I worry that my current life is nowhere near as interesting, and that if people found out how boring I am then they'd leave me. This can make me feel as if I haven't changed, and I hate that. In a messed up way, I almost miss the negative times in my life because at least I felt motivated back then because I was determined to prove people wrong... but now..., it's hard to stay motivated so I slip into bad habits and my day-to-day life becomes dull and I get almost annoyed whenever I'm asked how my day was because it just reminds me that I've accomplished nothing and I feel frustrated with myself.
     
    #5 Canterpiece, Aug 10, 2018
    Last edited: Aug 10, 2018
  6. emerry

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2015
    Messages:
    1,925
    Likes Received:
    236
    Location:
    Europe
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Some people - maybe. In truth, everyone's life is boring except for those rare moments when it's not. It would be unrealistic to expect something different.

    Ha ha, I know this one :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: It at least felt like something, didn't it? All that is now is "blah".
    This feeling of borebom is a motivation to seek some new meaning to life for me.