I'm sorry. Maybe this is not the right place to post about this, since it's physical and sexual health. But I really needed to vent about it because my mental health is...down the drain right now... I was playing that new Pokemon Go game in my neighborhood last night, by myself around 12 am. Just as I was walking past this one house, these two guys came out onto their porch. I didn't acknowledge them, but they both called out to me. One simply said hello, the other the typical flirty "How YOU doin?" Meanwhile, I'm in my early twenties and they were in their forties. Creepy? I kept walking, but called back "F*** you." The one dude lost it. "What the f*** did you just say to me?! Come back here!" I told him no. And when I didn't stop walking, he got off the porch and started across the street after me, tellinhg me to come back. I glanced back at him, pulled out my mace and actually said "Get the f*** away from me! I have mace, and I WILL mace you!" But he just kept coming towards me! He didn't care about mace at all! So I walked away as fast as I could. He chased me down a whole block or two, before once again I told him to leave me alone and he finally stopped chasing me. The sick thing is, I think the only reason he gave up was because we were coming up to an intersection and there were some people across the street. I'm sure he saw them... Now I know maybe I shouldn't have been walking alone at night by myself, and maybe I shouldn't have told him to f off. But was that really reason enough to chase someone down a freaking street? I mean, what the hell was he going to do if he caught up to me...? That chills my blood just wondering. I just got so mad because a lot of the times when I go outside, even during the day and with other people, I get hit on by guys. I don't even show them any interest to warrant that. They just call out to me, even if I'm across the street or something. And some of them are twice my age. It's so freaking creepy and it's highly unnecessary. I'm sick of it, so that's why I told him to f off. I didn't think he would react so violently... I told my husband, but I'm afraid to talk about it to others I know. I'm afraid they'll just put the blame on me because I was "walking alone at night," I "instigated it by telling him f off," I was "walking in shorts and a tank top." I haven't heard those yet, but I'm sure I will... and that makes me feel really crappy. Also, I'm afraid to leave my house by myself now, even in broad daylight. I'm not sure if I even want to go out with other people..I'm just really scared to go out. I'm afraid that'll happen again, and I'm afraid of how much worse it might be next time...I hate how society is so messed up, that women have to change their routines and hide in their homes for fear of things like this. Society does more of telling women how to avoid street harassment than teaching people in general how to stop it and teaching men to stop treating women like objects...obviously, I know not ALL men are like that. But I fear I'll jump and be frightened every time I see a strange man nearby when I'm out now. I just want to hide in my house forever...
I'm so sorry that you experienced this, and I'm very relieved to hear that you weren't physically attacked. It's not fair at all that women (and others) experience this. It's never your fault! There are some good people out there who don't want to hurt anyone- however, we rarely hear about them because they don't scream at people on the street. The blame placed on women for this is disgustingly distorted...if anyone ever blamed me, I'd probably lose it and punch them in the face lol. Well, not really, at least I don't recommend that. I hope you never experience this again. (*hug*) On the bright side, you are one of the smart, caring people who can help educate people on how to treat others with kindness and respect. The world needs more people like that!
Glad to hear your ok, don't be afraid to go back out though, don't let fear hold you back, Timetraveltea is right the vast majority are good people, don't let the small percentage of A-holes dictate how you live your life. If that happened to my wife or anyone I know if fact, I would make a trip over to that house and have a few words with the guys. That kind of behavior isn't ok at any point or time.
So sorry you had to go through this. I can only imagine the stress. (*hug*) It sucks that such things happen all the time. Have you considered reporting this? I don´t know if you could pursue anything legally, but notifying the local police that there are these guys in that area that might try another assault and need monitoring might be a good idea. How about some self-defense classes? Might help with your confidence being out on your own. Nothing of this was your fault, no one in their right mind will ever tell you the opposite. (*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)
Thank you, everyone. I've felt like such crap since then. After what happened, I went to my husband's work and he called the cops. They came and talked to me. They said they'd go to his house and tell him to knock it off, but they couldn't do anything else unless he was reported multiple times, especially since he didn't actually hurt me and he stopped chasing me...it just makes me wonder how many times it could happen before they actually do something. Who might get hurt next time? They did tell me I shouldn't have been walking alone. Maybe. But I mainly come off as a woman. Honestly, how often do men get catcalled and then attacked after rejecting the person? I'm sure it can happen, but I don't think it happens as often as it does to women. So I feel that its mainly because I'm a woman that I shouldn't be walking alone...it's such crap. Yesterday, I posted my story on social media, hoping I might educate someone or make another feel less alone. But I haven't gotten any feedback on it yet, so I don't know what all good it did...I want to speak out though, since this kind of thing happens more often than it should. But it's hard when society victim blames and excuses the horrible behavior. Thankfully, I'd already scheduled an appointment with a therapist for next week, so I can talk to her about it then. Thank you everyone for the replies!
