I want to come out but my parents are Christian

Hey there! I’m in the same situation and I know how you feel. I’ll share some advice I’ve gotten from other people. If you really think your parents will go out on you just for being bisexual I wouldn’t recommend coming out to them just yet. I would wait until you have a safe plan up... like maybe a friend’s parent that is accepting of such things? So just in case you get kicked out of the house (you sound like a minor) you have somewhere to actually go. You can get stress of your shoulders by telling your parents but in this case I would wait until you have a safe back up plan set up. If you can’t get that back up plan wait until your financially stable to tell them. Ignore the group at church as they most likely aren’t teaching the right things to your mind. Jesus accepts every person as it says in the Bible. He has never turned anyone down and your sexuality isn’t a sin. If Jesus was in this age possibly some of his apostles would be gay/lesbian/etc. If this is really tearing you down I’d advise you to see councilors or talk to any adult you could trust with this sensitive topic. Good luck,and follow your gut.

 

I agree with XXSammyXX, always have a backup plan! When I told my parents about my gender and sexuality (both separate times and I had to do both of them twice as my parents are divorced), I had messaged close friends beforehand to make sure I have somewhere safe I can go in case it all goes wrong. Something I wish I could tell my younger self is, wait until the time is right, you'll know in the moment but if it doesn't feel right then don't force it. Drop hints!! One thing that threw my parents and everyone around me off is that I didn't show any signs of wanting to transition or even that I like every gender! And whatever you do, don't immediately fly out of the situation, even if it's bad. This leaves your parents wondering and questioning without anyone there to answer them! Even if it's awkward, it'll be worth it in the long run.

And if it never feels like the right time, there's always the option of waiting until you have a girlfriend and just bring her home one day! I've had numerous friends do that ahah. (But in all seriousness, good luck!!!!!)

 

There are some good replies here. I'll just add... it's ok to not tell them. You know they will have a hard time accepting it, and you know they will judge you negatively for it. If you were dating a guy and they approved, would you confront them and say you were having premarital sex? Probably not. Family is great when they are able to love you for who you are. But when they struggle with that, it can make it really hard for you to love yourself. You definitely don't need that right now.

You are a beautiful creation, bi is real, natural, and strong. Some of the most amazing people I've had the pleasure of knowing are bi, because they embody so much empathy and passion for all people, regardless of gender. Good luck with your decision, but... sexuality is your business. You do NOT have to let people in. Being bi is not a choice, but it IS a choice to honor your genetic sexuality by coming out. Who you tell is not what it means to come out. Who you tell is a choice.

 

I’m glad you are thinking ahead and have a plan. I would like to second Medusa - you don’t have to come out. If you feel that coming out to your parents could put you at risk (or getting sent to some conversion therapy camp or getting kicked out), please stay safe and protect yourself. They will be other people, accepting people, with whom you will be able to share this part of yourself.
Your parents might not be those people. Not because you’re bad or wrong or sinful, but because their beliefs could put you at risk. Please take care of yourself.

 

I grew up with very religious parents--as in active in missionary work kind of religious parents--in a very religious community and the thing I would say is that if the above is really true you should have more faith in them. When I came out in the early nineties most of the people I came out to had never even met anyone who was out. It was hard for my parents and they didn't understand. My Mother was physically ill for a week after I told them. But they loved me and they tried their best and with time they saw how my life just bloomed and unfolded, they gradually realized how much pain I had been through trying to hide it and admired how I had it made it through to this new place. My Mother commented that it was like I was "finally really there." I think the thing that finally put an end to my Mother's resistance was finding out that I had once planned that, for their sake, I would just be alone--the idea that all their teaching and guidance to make sure I felt happy and loved had almost led to me just being alone forever, for her, was just too much for her to bear. They positively adored my husband when he came along. He was actually the final person my Mother asked for on her deathbed: "I'm going away for a while, take care of him for me, take care of each other like you do..."

Good people adapt. Good people who are filled with love adapt in ways that surprise even themselves. My only real regret I have in life is that I didn't have more faith in the people around me sooner. If they really are lovely people my advise would be to have a little faith...

 

This is exactly what is going on with me. I told my dad that I'm Bisexual and he thought it was a phase. Well it's not. I think you need to see what situations come up and see how they react. Ask them how the feel about the LGBTQ community. Then tell them if how you feel and it might slip out of your mouth. I'm here for you.