2 Days ago I told my parents I was gay. I'm only 15. I feel terrible, my mother can not stop crying. She keeps making me feel guilty. My dad cried once too. They keep telling me they are worried for my future and how I will never come back home when I go to college, things like that. But yeah, I feel terrible and regret telling them.:help:
Just because you are gay doesn't mean it changes who you are. Congrats for coming out to your parents. They and you will be fine, they just need it to sink in.
Right first I don't know exactly what they said but from what you've said it does not sound that dire. They seem worried for you rather than angry or rejecting~this is a good sign. Also it is very early days so they're still in shock, they need to have time to let it sink in. Emphasise to them that you re still the same person, you are after all. It'll be fine, keep chugging along.
Hi and welcome to ec Congratulations on being so brave and coming out to your parents.Although it may seem like a mistake at the moment,im sure when things settle down again,which they will,you will feel that it was the best thing you ever did.Your life will be so much easier now because you can be open and honest,not having to hide all the time and of course not having that huge burden of that terrible talk with the parents.Well done. As far as your parents go,just remember that this has come as a bit of a shock and they need a bit of time to digest it all and get a bit more comfotable with the whole thing.You could try printing off some pflag material online and see if they will read anything like that.Try to be there to answer any questions,act and behave just as normal and let them see that you are still you and being gay is only a small part of who you are. During the next few days/weeks your parents may say some horrible and hurtfull things without really realizing what they are "saying" and how hurtfull it is to you.There may well be stages of denial,anger and loss but these things mood changes usualy pass pretty quickly and things start improving again. Good luck and keep us updated.
I've got to say, you were braver than I was at fifteen. At fifteen, I was still in doubt about my sexuality and was scared to admit anything about being gay. So congratulations on that front. Telling your parents early is a good thing to do, regardless of whether or not it goes good or bad. And as for your parents, I'm sure they're just dealing with the shock of your recent revelation. I'm sure they're just upset over that and not about your personally and once time settles, they'll be fine. All the best.
Tell them that they were gay before they knew and nothing has changed. They didn't cry then so they shouldn't cry now. ask them to ask you questions. Their concerns can be adressed by YOU because YOU are, presumably an expert. If you see what I mean.
Welcome to EC! Sorry that you are having to deal with the bad reactions from your parents. People can say some really horrible things even if they think they are doing the best they can. Hang in there tho (*hug*) Like everyone else already said, your parents are just in shock right now. They are now having to reevaluate everything they have ever heard of gay people and realize that its not true at all. Some parents take longer than others, but luckily most parents always come around. You might want to read the stages of grief that parents and family go through in our resource page. That way you can prepare yourself on what is to come so you can handle it better. You are beyond brave for coming out to your parents and you should be proud of yourself. I know it doesn't feel like it right now, specially when you feel like you are hurting your parents, but you took a step that will help you later in life. Best of luck and never hesitate to come to us for comfort. Even if you just want to vent out
Hi Maxy, I just wanted to say that it was incredibly brave of you. It probably won't make your life easier, but your parents will come around eventually. They'll have to realize that they care more about you then their fears about what your future will look like. I can't say I had any idea of what my future looked like at 15. But here I am at 27 having come out to my family earlier today to nothing but love, healing, forgiveness, and support. We aren't guaranteed tomorrow. I never had the chance to tell my dad, but I knew he loved me and was proud of me. As mentioned above, your family will probably go through stages of grief. What I told mine was that I wanted to be a man of integrity, to be honest, and to be happy. No one can argue with those things. Stay strong friend.
Hello and Welcome to EC. I think your parents have taken it quite well. Considering other reactions parents get. I think it is like they think of when you are going to College you know and leaving home, even if they cry about that they care about you ( I don't think they wouldn't care about your future if the didn't).
hang in there! your parents just need some time to get used to it. don't feel bad- it's who you are, and you have a right to be yourself. being gay doesn't define who you are, and it's definetly not the most intresting thing about you. just give your parents some time, and they'll realize that too. hang in there! oh, and welcome to EC.
That must have been hard for you. I'm just going to echo what other people have said and say that they probably just need time to adjust to it. I mean it's kinda a big thing when you tell your parents really because everyone always thinks that their kid will meet someone of the opposite sex, settle down and get married and have kids of their own, so I guess it takes a while for people to realise that that's not how real life works. I really don't know what I'm trying to say here so if you get what I mean then it's all good!
