Bear with me here i have been struggling with this for a while. i am romantically attracted to men & i am a versatile bottom. i love feminine guys and tend to not like tons of muscles/super masculine guys. but the thing that is confusing is that in the past i watched tons of straight porn, but only anal scenes. I sort of imagine im the girl sometimes. but i also get off on how much the guys seem to be enjoying it. I came out when i realized i get certain butterflies from guys (romantically)that i just dont get from woman. And i love to bottom for guys. But i tend to still find things about girls really hot, but not their vaginas or boobs. basically I really like butts and it doesn't matter what gender overall. I just find girls aesthetically appealing but idk if that means im bi/ pan or not, because in the real world i would ideally be with a guy, and be the bottom in the relationship. Should i be ashamed to be identifying as gay even though i find girls butts asthetically appealing?
There is a tendency amongst members of our community to excessively ruminate over the slightest deviation from their sexuality and you appear to be doing the same. That's not a criticism by the way, just a reflection upon what happens. We cannot carve our sexuality into stone and it would be quite unreasonable to suggest that gay men must have zero appreciation for the opposite sex. It's not an all of nothing scenario. I am very gay, but it does not mean I find the opposite sex ugly or repellent and nor should you. Don't pay too much attention to your porn watching habits either, because this too has many variables. Some straight guys (sometimes) watch gay porn, some gay guys (sometimes) watch straight porn. The fact that this curiosity exists is quite reasonable and healthy actually and it needn't rock the foundations of your sexuality. It's not for me, or anyone else to label you, but I do not believe these small and perfectly normal fluctuations make you bi or pan. If they do, then it applies to me too. Try to relax and avoid worrying about it. Very few things are 100% in life and there is no reason why our sexuality must be one of those rare things.
