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I think my boyfriend has depression. What can I do?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by U N Owen, Feb 4, 2014.

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  1. U N Owen

    U N Owen
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    Hello all. Last August I met a guy at school and long story short we became boyfriends. Everything was going fine and for winter break we went back to our separate homes (he is from China btw). Ever since the start of this new semester he has seemed busier than usual, constantly being unable to meet with me for dates and stuff.

    I talked to him about it and he claimed he was very tired everyday because of pressure from his course work and his parents. He said that when he was tired all he wanted to do was be alone by himself rather than be with me. I know that when I am depressed I become withdrawn too and am suspecting he might be depressed.

    I tried to get him to tell me exactly what is bothering him but he is refusing to tell me. He says it is his own problem and he can deal with it by himself. I offered to help him but he doesn't think there is anything I can do.

    Naturally this makes me upset because when I first met him he was optimistic and happy and now he just seems tired a lot of the time. I worry about him constantly. I'm just wondering if anyone here has been in a similar situation and could give me some advice.
     
    #1 U N Owen, Feb 4, 2014
  2. WhiteShadows

    WhiteShadows
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    Suggest to him whether he's considered that he might be experiencing depression, and try and make him see a doctor if you can.

    Hopefully that will help :slight_smile:
     
    #2 WhiteShadows, Feb 5, 2014
  3. U N Owen

    U N Owen
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    Thanks I'm going to meet him today and will ask him
     
    #3 U N Owen, Feb 5, 2014
  4. Jared

    Jared
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    Just one thing to point out, Eastern cultures (in general) take a far different view of mental health issues than Western ones. They tend to be dismissive of things like depression and just think they need to work harder and not seek help. There is also much more stigma attached to it than in the West. So attempting to make him seek help will be very hard/could blow up in your face. I'd approach the subject carefully.

    My boyfriend is Thai and has lived in the US for about half of his life and he's had trouble seeking help in part due to the culture he grew up in. Asian culture is very focused on family and putting others above yourself, and when you're trying to treat depression you have to be a but selfish and worry about if what your doing is good for you, this has been really hard for him since it goes against what he was taught growing up. It will probably be harder for your bf since I'm assuming he's only been in the US since he started college.
     
    #4 Jared, Feb 5, 2014
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