I need to say something otherwise I might die from despair.

I'm not giving you the advice you necessarily want, because no doubt someone else will do that (and I don't know much about it), but I'm going to give you some advice I think you need to hear.

Yeah, you're definitely obsessing. I don't know how old you are, but you sound like you're in high school. That makes you a teenager. And no offense to teenagers (I was one myself you know), but they have a tendency to make everything super dramatic, which you're doing. I get that you have feelings for him, trust me, I do. If you lurk around here you'll see that tons of people have had the "I'm so in love with this guy/girl" threads, myself included. But you know what? That feeling passes eventually.

What you haven't mentioned is how long this has been going on relative to anything else. Have you been crushing on him a long time? Are you guys friends? How long have you been friends for? Because the way you're describing how infatuated you are with him makes it sound like it's been going on for years, but I'd bet you money it hasn't been that long. Again, it's just a teenager thing, nothing against you personally.

Additionally, does he even know you like guys? If not, coming out to him gives him the opportunity to come out to you as well, if he does in fact swing that way. And if he doesn't, then you play it safe and assume he's straight. Well, you can think otherwise if you want, but it probably isn't a smart idea and will end up in a lot of hurt feelings for you that way.

What you need to weigh is if sharing your feelings for him is worth losing whatever relationship you have with him currently. There are quite a few people who will be "okay" with the fact that you have feelings for them, but much fewer who will just return to the way things were before. Dropping a bomb like that inevitably changes the dynamics between two people, and usually in a more awkward way. It's for this reason I won't tell my crush how I feel about him, because I value my friendship more than the slim chance he's into guys and into me.

And you're not in love, you're infatuated. There's a big difference between the two.

To get over crushes, you need to take either time, distance, or a distraction. If you go to school with this guy, you probably won't get much time or distance away from him, so that leaves distraction. Focus on something or someone else, that's all you really can do. You can wait around for it to pass (and trust me, it likely will), but I can almost guarantee you'll be miserable throughout the process and it won't be fun. The more effort you can consciously put into moving on, the better.

Now, it probably seems like I've been ragging on you, so I'm sorry about that. I really don't mean it in a bad way. But I don't think beating you around the bush is going to help get my point across in this case, since like you said, you're pretty obsessed with him.

 

While BudderMC's advice is wise, and in general, applies to anyone in reality who wants to get over a crush, a love that can't be reciprocated, I am myself an outlier who did not do that and I am very glad to not have done so.

When I was in high school I made a friend at around about grade 10 or so, by grade 11 it was obvious that I was crushing on him furiously, and all through grade 12 I was taking a lot of classes in common with him and it was just like living a dream to have always been there together with him. When he was sick and didn't come to school I felt crushed, when he sat next to me I was elated. There were moments where I fancied he might've been able to reciprocate those feelings, and in truth this possibility last for a long time because he didn't really date or have a girl friend until we turned 24, and imagine that I knew him well since we were 15 years old, whatever, he was my best friend forever and we talked about anything and everything.

Over the years, I was not out of the closet, and when I was hanging out with my BFFs with him in the group, it felt really good, so good that I never needed to feel loved by another guy. Since over a year ago I recognized that my crush/love/infatuation for my friend has finally subsided and now we're still very good friends. But ever since I stopped having these feelings for him, I started feeling lonely and unfulfilled in my relationships with others.

In summary I am glad to have not distanced myself from him and regret the loss of that feeling of love now for the emptiness it created. But it is possible to love your friend though, a loving friendship is the most genuine and the most fulfilling.

 

Maybe I didn't necessarily explain well, I don't mean you should drop him as a friend altogether, but I mean make little efforts here and there to ween yourself off of your desire to be near him. My advice is all well and good, like zeratul said, if it's someone who really just wants that part out of their life. I mentioned how I have my own crush who I won't reveal my feelings for; well, I'm not planning on getting over him the way I listed either. We live in the same house, so I can't get away from him, and he's my friend so I wouldn't want to anyways. The only thing I can do is keep myself focused on other things and other people. I was fortunate (in a sense) that he was going overseas for the whole summer. I mean, I was depressed when he left, but after a few days I started realizing that him being around wasn't as important as I thought it was. I still do have some feelings for him, but they've decreased quite a bit, partly because he was gone and partly because I was busy with my own life.

Just because you've been questioned on your sexuality before doesn't necessarily mean people will infer, particularly if they're good friends and want to be respectful of you. Coming out to him will make it very clear that you're into guys without any doubt of it being a rumour or anything, and like I said, gives him the opportunity to come out to you (if he is gay/bi).

So if you want to get over him altogether, then follow what I said before and effectively cut him out of your life (without actually doing so). If you want to stay good friends but just end the crush, then you're going to have to really actively try and find something else to focus on.

It's hard stuff you're dealing with, definitely. But trust me when I say that it's infatuation and it'll pass. I can't do anything to prove it to you - hell, the only way it can be proven is if you outright ask him, but I hope you can take some ounce of trust in what I'm saying. It probably is for the best if you try and get over him sooner rather than later. Every effort you make is progress towards that. And like you said, if you don't do it soon you'll probably be forced to when it's time to go to college. I don't know about you, but I think voluntarily trying to get over him is the lesser of two evils (vs. having him removed from your life).

And like I said, I really wasn't trying to rag on you. Reading over it again it came off more harshly than intended, so I really am sorry about that.