I've been questioning my sexuality a lot and need to know whether I am gay/bi or not. I'm female, virgin, never dated anyone. I had two "crushes" and they were both on guys with long hair and soft features. After one of them cut their hair, I instantly stop liking him. I'm not attracted to men with short hair or facial hair, or harsh features. When it comes to girls I haven't crushed on any but I catch myself staring at their chests and thighs/legs. As soon as they notice, I look away. It makes me feel really creepy. When I think about romance and sex, I honestly cannot picture myself in a happy relationship with a man. I feel no emotional attraction to them whatsoever. I could have sex with one, but wouldn't go out my way to do it nor would I want to see him afterwards. On the other hand, I can actually picture myself hugging, kissing, touching, and just spending time with a woman. The thought of having sex with a woman somewhat terrifies me because I'm not sure what lesbians do in bed. I was thinking I might just have to meet a man and see if we 'click'. If I can actually develop feelings for them, but I can't rule out my attraction to women entirely. Do I sound like I might be bisexual or lesbian?
Your identity needs to come from yourself. I would say you might be somewhere on the bisexual scale, like a kinsey 4 or 5, but whether you want to identify that way is not my business. I don't know if you're a lesbian if you feel legit sexual attraction to men, but if It's an indifference thing, I'm not sure? It also sounds like you might just have a really specific type of guy that not everyone fulfills too.
It does sound like you're probably a lesbian but it's really only you who can know this. I guess you just need to ask yourself whether you see yourself in a relationship with a woman, getting married to a woman etc. For me, I personally cannot picture myself in a relationship with a man, it just doesn't seem natural or feel right to me at all. I wanted to know for sure if I was a lesbian for so many years. The only way I ever got my definitive answer was over time. If you give yourself time to let yourself be, and not overthink your whole life, you'll find your answer. Good luck!
It sounds like you're a lesbian to me, but I must admit, I don't have much experience as I am questioning my sexuality as well. Don't disregard being gay just because you're afraid to have lesbian sex though - there are tons of "how to" articles out there, and from what i've heard, sex with women changes every single time so it doesn't matter if you've had sex with 10 girls or none - everyone starts off in the same position.
Hey I am in the same boat as you. Its so crazy. I have always had a boyfriend and thought I was completely straight. I never thought of girls in this way till recently and ever since Im totally into and turned on by it. I am also in college and everyone says you have a phase like this at some point but I have completely failed in love with a girl and am in love with her right now and I can tell you I have never had feelings like this for ANY guy ever. Its been really heavy on my mind, my best advice is to honestly acknowledge your into both and that although you don't know what your "label" may exactly be, that it doesn't matter and you don't need to know. As long as your present and know you are interested in both, fly in the wind with it!! Best of luck XX Boston 19 year old sorority girl
