For the past few days I have been questioning my gender. Could this be a phase or is this real?Here is some things that I think could help. In preschool I did ballet until kindergarten where it was disliked to be a boy and go to ballet. I tend to not work well with my 3 brothers(this could be just me) we don’t share our same likes. I watched my little pony for a year or two. I tend to make friends with girls a lot faster then making friends with boys. I like playing dress up. One year for my birthday I wanted a giant Barbie tree house. I tend to get very embarrassed about me going through puberty. I do not go crazy when I get called a girl.(I really don’t mind it but mostly I prefer being called a boy) I like my hair long but not to long(mostly so I don’t get made fun of) I love pink, purple and green(that probably didn’t matter because there are no boy or girl colors)
Playing with barbies and liking pink are hobbies and preferences every child in the world can have regardless of their gender. What you could try to figure out is why you like these things and how you feel about other things which our society associates with a certain gender. How do you feel when someone points out that a thing you do is "for girls"? Do you want to do it even more because of that or do you then question your interest in the thing. What exactly about puberty do you get embarrassed about? Is it the masculine features you get or things like pimples, awkward voice cracks etc? Do you think you would be happier if you started developing feminine features instead? Another question I find really helpful: If you had to give up your birth name and chose a different one, what kind of name would you chose?
It doesn't sound like you're trans to me. You say you prefer being called a boy so that would be a big tell. How do you see yourself in 5 years? That's always a good indicator, do you see a boy or a girl? Also do you feel any discomfort about your body? Are you okay with the male characteristics? Or would you be happier in a female body. Two days is no time at all to have to make a decision on who you are. I questioned for two years before I was ready to come out as a guy. Give yourself some more time and think over who you are and what way you'd be more comfortable presenting as.
I am not saying I am trans. I think I am something other than trans. I don’t really like the idea of my voice getting lower and body hair( this could be everyone) I see myself in 5 years as some one who could have the supper power that they could change their body when ever possible when ever they want to. I think I might be happier in a female body because they can do what ever they want with their hair with out being laughed at and wear what they want without be laughed at.
The thing I am embarrassed about puberty is voice getting lower and body hair, pimples, and voice cracks. No I do not think I would be happier developing feminine features instead I would before to stay before puberty with out having to take stuff. I hate the idea of changing my body. If I could give up my birth name I would go by Ray, my middle name. I find the name both a male and female name. I am currently VERY embarrassed about taking ballet. In 4th grade the only friend I trusted with that knowledge told it to the whole class. When some one says something is for girls I would look into it then see if I am interested in it. If I am I would try it out with out telling any one.
Have you looked into nonbinary gender identities? These to sentences make me think that you could find a lot of insight by doing so. It's okay and valid to be neither a man nor a woman.
Do you feel distressed about puberty? Like the feeling of how your body is not yours? That is an main symptom of dysphoria. Also, how does living life as a boy/man sound to you? When I think about it I feel depressed and that there's no joy and point to life (if nobody can see who I really am). interests don't really matter it's more like a subconscious reaction to puberty, gender stereotypes that determine if you're trans. Nobody knows completely why they want to be a certain gender. They just do. And it makes them feel better. I mean I want to be a girl and had dysphoira for 2 years now everything logical stacks up against it. I'm tall I have wide shoulders and I like airplanes and ships. But being a man is just not right, I get depressed and scared about it, if that's how you feel, this might be serious.
When I was 7 (in 1980) I thought Olivia Newton-John and the movie "Xanadu" were like some kind of revelation. My mom still probably wants to strangle me from playing the album so much, and she probably still curses the day we got a VCR (video cassette recorder) that allowed me to play the movie endlessly. The movie is pretty gay, has a serious feminine side, and to this day is I say pretty flipping awesome. I also liked dolls for a bit and saw myself as just being more feminine inside. Today I identify as male and still feel drawn to creative hobbies and some things that are seen as traditionally feminine. What you're describing sounds like "gender non-conformity" and it's pretty common in gay youth. I don't think there's a good explanation for why it happens, but it does. It often has no bearing on gender identity, but is simply an indicator of your taste. On the other hand, you could be transgendered and that would be a different experience where you might feel uncomfortable in a male body. However from what you describe you simply have tastes that aren't typically boyish, and that's just fine! It makes you who you are and a special person. Patrick
It seems that you don't have a problem with gender identity but gender roles and societies impression of what a 'man' should be and what a 'woman' should be. Unfortunately humans aren't likely to evolve and get super powers in the next 5 years. You sound like you enjoy feminine things and that makes you uncomfortable to show/tell people but femininity =/= female just as masculinity =/= male. It's not what you want to look like or the activities you're involved in that makes up your gender identity. It's how you feel, how you want to be perceived by others and the body you want to have regarding primary and secondary sex characteristics. It might sound like I'm being harsh but some people mistake their gender identity with gender expression and if they then go and transition it could lead to actual gender dysphoria manifesting. Take your time thinking about what you want and how you want/need to live your life.
yes/sorta I don’t personally don’t like the idea of puberty. I don’t like my voice getting lower and body hair. I would personally like to be a girl. I feel like that would be better for me.
