I need advice on coming out as transgender to my family, and I do not know how to put it in a way that my family will understand and accept. I have had transgender feelings for a few years, but I only came out to myself at the start of December. I have come out to the teaching assistant I have for one of my lessons at school, plus a transgender guy from a local LGBT support group. I have no idea on how to come out to my 6 year old 2nd cousin in a way that she will understand. I have no idea on how to come out to my aunt and uncle (very scary and a minister at a church, respectively). Plus, there are a few others in the family as well. I have no idea on how to come out to my dad (who, when I last asked him about the LGBT community, said he was opposed to same-sex marriage before going on about political correctness). I know my mum said it's okay for me to come out to her when she phoned me just before Christmas. I very nearly came out to her then, but my fear took over and I ended up telling her I was a girl in my dreams. I have already typed 457 words in my coming out letter. I am petrified of a negative reaction when I come out.
I would try to come out to certain people from most to least accepting. Try to gage how positive they'll react by how they talk about the LGBT community. So I probably would wait on coming out to uncle and aunt until you come out to others in your family. Good luck!
If your mom is the most accepting, then definitely tell her first. Not only will that lessen the stress of coming out to more people, it will also give you someone on your side if things go sour later on. Having her on your side could help to either dodge or stifle potential negative reactions later on. I wish you the best! Feel free to ask us for help if you need it.
The only downside is that my mum lives 280 miles south by car. :\ She lives in the part of England south of Cardiff, and I live in a place where The Beatles fills the air, a place where someone's bound to sing Here Comes the Sun. Still, I am optimistic that coming out will go well with my mum. I will always remember when she told be it would be okay when she phoned me on December 23rd. I silently trembled in fear on the other side of the line until she spoke those words. I asked her on January 6th what she'd call me if I was DFAB, and her reply and the name I chose for myself happen to be different names. I've already chosen a name and a middle name for myself, and it isn't what my mum would have chosen. I have yet to ask what my dad would have named me if I was DFAB.
