in two days i have to see my mum, i ran away from home last saturday at 3.30 in the morning. Because my sister and step dad treat me like shit, and i just can't be civil to them anymore. no matter how much abuse i got of either i used to able just to be polite back to them. so i could avoid confrontation, i hate confrontation i avoid it like the plague, even when i ment to confront somebody else even for a perfectly valid reason, i just cant stand it. it has now got to the point where i don't want to see my sister or step dad ever again in my life. i will not compromise with my step dad, he's pushed me too far. As i said at 3am after he'd had a go at me, "im leaving" he responed with "then go". by choice im now only living at my dads. i have no problem with my mum, but i could never tell her its me or my step dad. i could never ask her to choose, i don't have it in me. i just don't know what to say to her, how do i tell her "the person she loves is total basterd to me" i could never even say that to her. i can't say these things to mum because i don't want to upset her. it breaks my heart because im going to tell her im not living there anymore. i just don't know what to tell her. what can i say?
You can keep it all on you. You can say that you've tried to work it out with your stepdad, but you haven't been able to. And since it's making you so miserable, you've chosen not to live there anymore. Tell her you'd love to see her whenever you can, but you feel you can't live with your stepfather anymore. Lex
If it was me and my step-dad was treating me so badly I would give my mum the choice between him or me, as it's not just about you being treated badly if he's that horrible your mum could ge it eventually to.
Hey, I'm with Lexi on this one. I know you don't want to upset your mum and think that it's very wise that you're not giving her the ultimatum to choose between you or your stepdad, as it's not easy to choose between the people that you love. It seems that she sees something in him that you do not - but if she's happy with him, then you needs to continue to have that. I guess now that you're living with your dad, that's fine for you as a permanent plan? In which case just tell her the truth, it must be obvious that you and your stepdad haven't been getting along - especially if you're arguing at 3 O'clock in the morning. So just tell her like "It's obvious that me and x haven't been getting along, this is really getting me down and whilst I have been trying to sort things out with him, it doesn't seem to be working. I therefore think it's better if I stay with my dad for a while". I'm sure she'll understand and will atleast be appreciative that you're not leaving her life. Good luck xxx
If he treats you like shit then tell her, "Hey, your husband treats me like shit." You're her son, so chances are she'll care, although it's odd that she wouldn't have picked up on this problem already.
Well cheers for the advice guys, I would written a reply sooner but I've spent most of the past week living at friends and I was too nervous to visit the site. But when I went to meet her at the house she wasn't there. I waited 20 minutes but that was all I was willing to risk. I'm just not sure what to do, for the past few days I've just been avoiding thinking about the situation. All I want to do is just run away from it and completely avoid it, but my friends keep saying this not one of those times where I can. I'm inclined to believe them, but I wish it wasn't the case. Even thinking about the situation just makes me want to cry. When I spoke to mum on the phone she kept saying I wasn't in trouble, so I'm not even sure whether she knows why I really left. I should I just email her and tell her what needs be said or would that make the situation worse?
Yes I believe so, this is a conversation that need to happen face to face. It will be emotionally charged and it is just too easy to misinterpret emotions in written messages. If you have trouble meeting up with her I think it would be ok to send an email saying that the you of you need to talk alone, and to set up a time.
