Hey: I really think over the last week I have taken some HUGE steps and I have to say I am kind of proud of myself. I really decided that the worry about my "voice" is really more of a worry about excepting my sexuality, so I decided to work on accepting myself a little more. -I came out to my hairdressers. Now you might think this an easy thing, but not really. I get my haircut in a pretty conservative area, so yesterday I walked in talked to the place and told the woman I trusted most in there that I needed to talk to her in the backroom. I said do you care if I am gay?? She said NO! These things happen. She said my God son is gay. I was crying a little bit, and she gave me a hug! -I then told the lady who cuts my hair quietly. She said you are? I am like "yeah" She said a lot of people are. Its pretty common nowadays. I said I was concerned you might like me less because sometimes I hear you say you are a Christian. She said yeah, but I don't really judge. -I told my Great Aunt and I was Gay -The next thing I did was kind of hard, but its called "Exposure Response" I bought an "out" magazine and I put it in front of my apartment door. There is a lot of traffic that passes my apartment. I wa surprised, because I left for 1 hour and somebody took the magazine. I went back to the book store and bought more gay publications(and back up) I set another one out there and left a note, don't take magazine. Thanks! This time no one took it, but they turned it upside down. Later in the day I put it back out there, and someone eventually took it again. I'm out of gay magazines. LOL I am still struggling quite a bit, but I feel less sofacated(sp) The one thing that I am still having trouble with is this. When I was hospitalized about 3 years ago for OCD I had a doctor who I found attractive. He was really a tough nosed, no nonsense kind of guy. Sometimes when I was at the hopsital I would get angry with him, because I would mistake hard nose as "mean" Anyway, I emailed about 1 week ago and told him how I felt attracted to him. He emailed me back that I took a risk by telling him this, but it was a good one. I think by telling him I was attracted to him was helfpul, because now I am able to let it go somewhat. I recently emailed him about some of my progress, but in the back of my mind I keep wondering what does he think of gays?? But I really think its still me wondering what do I think of myself and being gay. But I worry is a homophobe and things like that. I am really glad the work I am doing and I know getting better doesn't happen overnight. But I am liking the process right now!! Justin :icon_bigg
Congratulations on your progress on coming out. Its not an easy thing to do. Keep up the good work! (*hug*)
That's awesome man!!! I would never think I have the guts to do something like that... Maybe as you grow up, it gets easier, but maybe it doesn't So please keep me posted, 'cause I wanna know if I'm gonna be able to do it
:eek: I would never hav been able to do anything even remotely close to that. you have just risen to a whole new plateu of respect in my eyes. Your progress is amazing and a true bringer of hope(*hug*) thank you so much for posting this andgood luck in the future i'm looking forward to more of your posts. :eusa_clap Kibuki Kid:eusa_clap
I can't remember what thread I saw it in but I wanted to thank whoever suggested about volunterring at a gay counseling center. I think that would be another great step for me to come to terms more with my sexuality as well an exposure. thanks whoever posted it. I can't find the thread now.
