I first thought I could be gay around age 13 but it was a confusing time and wasn't sure. It was obvious I was definitely into guys all through high school, but I never confirmed it as gay. It was either a fetish, temporary phase, or maybe I was sorta bi. But by the time I turned 21, it was dawning on me. The phase wasn't ending and I hadn't been attracted to girls since 8th grade or before. I finally came out to myself but for over a year I struggled. Lots of doom and gloom. I absolutely hated that fact about myself. Today is much better though. Some of us who come out to ourselves will either embrace it and accept reality or may fight it tooth and nail. It can be an ugly cycle. It's a good thing it has calmed you down and you can feel free. But also remember that it is not unusual to deny that fact and fight against it. It's all a process of developing a secure sexual identity and feeling confident and comfortable about who we are. Congratulations!
Fantastic. I know the feel you're experiencing right now. Coming out to yourself is a huge step in the journey to finally being able to be yourself. I'll warn you, the feelings of self-doubt will return after coming out to yourself as you're going to have to consider telling others at some point. Once you do, things will just get better and better. Again, congratulations.
I did have the self-doubts after I came out to some friends, wondering if I was right to do so, I had come out to them, but had not really come out to myself, now that I have finally came out to myself, I hope the doubts have gone
