So... nearly all the time when I notice that somebody is attractive it's a man. I find men very attractive and nearly all my sexual thoughts are about guys. However, sometimes I feel some genuine attraction to certain women as well... but it takes longer to develop than with guys (my attraction to good-looking guys is pretty instant) and feels weaker. So I guess I'm 'homo flexible' - nearly all the time attracted to guys, but sometimes have fluidity in my attractions and feel attracted to girls. Is it okay to not call myself bisexual? Some people get offended and say that hetero flexible and homo flexible are just variants of bisexuality but the attraction is just so unequal that bisexual really does not fit me...
Maybe you have a type when it comes to attractive women? When it comes to the media, I find more men attractive because the females seem to be clones of each other and it’s boring. But when a girl is different and has a type of swag to her she becomes 100% more attractive. I’m a lesbian because I could only date/have sex with a woman and not a man but I can tell when a man is attractive, especially if he’s feminine. I think women’s sexuality is very fluid. The question is, could you see yourself dating a woman and only having sex with her exclusively? If so then you are bisexual.
You can call yourself whatever you want. It doesn't matter what other people think. What matters is what makes you most comfortable.
People do get overly worked-up about terminology. But homoflexible was coined just exactly for people like you. Who are quite numerous, btw.
I think you can call yourself whatever you like--I personally think the appropriate label is the one that conveys the most actionable intel, but that's just me. The thing I will say though is that I've been out for a long time (25 years) and I've known a lot of gay men during that time and, to me, you sound like a pretty standard issue gay guy. I've never quite understood this whole notion that you're not gay if you've ever had a deep and abiding relationship with a woman or, even more ridiculous, if you can tell when a woman is attractive. The fact of the matter is that a good portion of traditional gay male "culture," not to mention pretty much the entirety of the American fashion industry, is built on the fact that most gay men have deep and abiding relationships with women and can tell (and tell you about) when a woman's attractive. The fact of the matter is that if a guy ever managed to really convince me that he couldn't tell when a woman was attractive I'd be more inclined to think he was straight than gay...
This would explain my confusion (very attracted to women's beauty but little or no arousal) but why do you think it is?
Coming from one confused person to another, I think that it could be a learned trait along with just being able to tell if a person is attractive to you. I'm still trying to figure out how to label myself, even more so to figure out what I really feel and what I am shutting off.
So you're saying that you believe you could be gay even if you've had a deep and loving relationship with someone of the opposite sex at some point? I ask this because I'm trying to determine how my past determines my sexuality at the present.
