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I feel guilty for moving out at 18 for university

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Paigez, Jan 29, 2022.

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  1. Paigez

    Paigez
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    Hello,
    I am an 18 year Australian who has recently been accepted into my dream course. The problem is that it is 8hours away in another state. I have already accepted the offer and enroll because this is what I want to do with my life. I really want to do this. But I can’t help but feel constantly guilty about my decision. I love my parents and my younger sister. I have a safe and loving family life aside from the disagreements in every household. So it makes me feel even more guilty. I still feel so young to move out, and so far, but If I don’t I would have to take a completely different career path I’m not interested in. I feel like I’m not ready, since I’ll be gone in less than a month, but I can’t do my degree online and I enjoy the concept of going to university in person. Plus this is the only university in the country that has my particular degree, so I have no choice but to go. I just feel so guilty doing it. My parents will support me in anything I do but they weren’t happy I got in. I know they are upset and that makes me feel so much worse. I’m sorry but I just needed to vent and someone to talk too. I have no one to talk to about this and I just feel so awful. I Feel like such a bad daughter after everything they’ve done for me. I won’t be there to support them if they need it and help my younger sister through senior school. I won’t be there to see my family and I feel so guilty. Am I wrong for doing this? Should I just do some different degree I don’t really wanna at home or just work, just to be able to stick with them. This is so stupid to ask but if someone could please give me advice, comfort me or talk to me that’s all I need right now. Also if this isn’t allowed let me know and I’ll delete it. I just feel so guilty for moving out so young. Other people I went to school with are doing it too but not as far. I feel so shitty. Fuck. I don’t know what to do. I need to go, but it feels wrong. Like I can’t ever go back and live with them again. It will be okay right? I hope so. I hope this is the right choice. Everyday I’m riddled with guilt… I’m sorry mum and dad
     
    #1 Paigez, Jan 29, 2022
  2. Paigez

    Paigez
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    I’m trying to spend time with them to make up for it. I don’t know how common it is for people to move out at 18, especially in Australia. Do students usually move out for university in Australia?? I feel so lost.
     
    #2 Paigez, Jan 29, 2022
  3. bsg75apollo

    bsg75apollo
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    I'm going to blunt here. I'm coming from the perspective of being the parent of college aged children. With respect to your guilt, knock it off. No guilt, no fear, no second guessing yourself. It is unnecessary and counterproductive. One of my kids is out of the nest, one is on her on her way, and the other I am ready to shove out of the nest, kicking and screaming if necessary.
     
    #3 bsg75apollo, Jan 29, 2022
  4. bsg75apollo

    bsg75apollo
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    I wanted to add, that I don't know about Australia, but my daughter is 15 hours away by car and thriving.
     
    #4 bsg75apollo, Jan 29, 2022
  5. Aspen

    Aspen
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    You can’t live at home forever—and you shouldn’t have to stay at home because your parents are upset by you leaving. It’s normal for parents to get upset when their children “leave the nest” so to speak, but those feelings are not your responsibility. If you want to go to college eight hours away, go to college eight hours away. I did! When I was looking at colleges, the only one inside my state that I applied for was the one that was farthest from home and that was not a coincidence. I regretted coming home more than I ever regretted leaving.

    You can still talk to them. You can still see them. You can even more back home after college, if that’s what you want. Your parents are allowed to feel their feelings about you leaving, but those feelings are theirs and theirs alone.
     
    #5 Aspen, Jan 29, 2022
  6. bingostring

    bingostring
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    It can be scary but exciting in equal measure
    I reckon you’ll find it’s the best decision you ever made

    with Zoom and everything you can still maintain close contact with family and see them in real life plenty of times

    you say it’s your dream course…I say give yourself permission to grab that dream with both hands!
     
    #6 bingostring, Jan 30, 2022
    wwbd96 likes this.
  7. wwbd96

    wwbd96
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    I agree with everyone above. I’d also add: 1) I bet your family is happy you’re what you feel you would like to do. Good families are like that. 2) You’ll be home on the holidays, no? So, you’ll be able to see them a lot. 3) Least you’re staying on the continent!
     
    #7 wwbd96, Feb 24, 2022
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