At this point I’ve come out to my mom and her friends, my grandparents, and I think my sister? That one is still unconfirmed that she actually got the message (I sent her a picture of a mug that says I’m gay…and she just replied with love it ️) At random times I’ll realize that this giant weight I’ve been unconsciously carrying around and confused about is gone, I feel free and more myself than I’ve ever been. That being said I’m still nervous to admit it to anyone for the first time, even my family that I know is cool with it (I may or may not see my aunt and uncle soon who have the OG gay child of the family and feel weird about saying it) Also, I feel like I want to start dating at some point but don’t even know how to go about it. I’ve never dated, men or women. I sort of dated a guy in high school for a couple months but it was basically cuddling on the couch watching movies at his house a few times, awkward kissing, and holding hands in school…to be fair I wasn’t actually into him. But I’m 24 and don’t know how to date or where to even to start. Plus it feels weird to randomly jump into dating when I’ve essentially avoided it my entire life. Help? I feel like everytime I post on here it’s half asking for advice and half venting
I missed post this for some reason. Anyway, congrats on the how far you have come out. Family can be tricky, so kudos to you for that. Your sister may get it, but is accepting it by making it a non-issue, so that you are comfortable. Coming out to new people is still nerve-wracking to me, so I get that. I am still not TOTALLY out, but at that point of not hiding it either. The closet door is pretty firmly shut behind me and I am in the room, so to speak. I have no advice on the dating front other than to get out there with groups that are LGBTIA+ and socialize to find someone. I am one to talk; I haven't dated for 27 years so, my ideas are a bit dated.
What you’ve accomplished is no small feat. Be happy and relaxed that your are free and take your time and enjoy it. Dating is not that hard honestly. You just need to be open to it, put yourself out there and be yourself. That has worked for me in the past. People can be quiet chatty and interesting sometimes. Don’t be nervous. You’ve got this.
There's nothing wrong with you seeking advice and needing to vent, @Galaxy98--that's what EC is here for, after all! There's no rush to come out to anyone until you're absolutely ready to. It sounds like you've accomplished a lot already, and I know sometimes that makes it feel like you have to keep going, or you're not making any progress. But I'm here to tell you that you have and that you are, and that whatever comes of it, good or bad, we're here to help you through. If you really want to tell someone else, consider who you're closest to and how trustworthy they are. Of those who know, maybe see if they're willing to discuss it further with you (anything you might still want to get off your chest about it, perhaps answer any questions they might have, etc.) Dating will come, like coming out, when you're ready for it. You just need to be patient and understanding with yourself. It'll be a lot easier to start looking for someone when you're at peace and more confident in yourself and your attractions. This isn't to say you have to wait until you're 100% happy, but that if you're still struggling with your same-sex attraction in any way, or if you're dealing with a lot of body image issues or the like, these things can act as obstacles and make it harder for you to read and reciprocate other's signals and attractions to you.
