For some reason I have been feeling like I don't value my friendships anymore. I know my friends are real and I don't hang out with them for another reason like popularity or something. I also know I still love them. I love them with all my heart. However for a few days now their hugs don't offer me comfort anymore. I laugh with them. I talk with them. In the moment it all seems fine but when I'm out of all that, for some reason I don't want to be with them anymore. It feels as if I don't love them, while I do. I've never ever felt this. I used to be so happy about seeing them. I used to get so excited about a hug or a kiss. Maybe it's because the novelty of t has worn off? But I don't think so because I feel the same way about my newer friends. I didn't always have this many friends, maybe the excitement has worn off because of it? Could the solution be to be alone for a while? I don't know I tried that, but I didn't feel much better. I'm scared I'll push my friends away because of this. I don't want to lose them but I don't want to feel like this all the time. They are still very important to me, I know that. It could be that I'm pushing them away because I'm hurt. I've done that before. Would that mean that I subconsciously got hurt? It feels like I can't be happy with people, and I can't be happy alone either. All this while I thought everything was okay. I'm just confused and not sure what to do and I have no idea what I'm feeling. I hope anyone can relate to this, but I don't think so because I'm being very vague. Sorry about that, but it's very vague for me too.
I think I felt this way at one point, and I put myself in the hands of one person, slowly but surely pushing away the rest on my friends. eventually, it just caved in; I made a mistake and now they want nothing to do with me, so my advice is that if you think you don't want to be around your friends anymore, that's all the more reason to be around them. get to know them again, do whatever you have to, but don't give up on them, you'll regret it. trust me, I know
Thanks for replying, I don't want to give up on them so I'm going to do everything I can to keep them close and not push them away
that's awesome, and I hope it works out for you, and trust me when I tell you that friends are something truly precious
