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I dont think my parents fully accept me being gay and having a boyfriend

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Raydar0110, Nov 27, 2017.

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  1. Raydar0110

    Raydar0110
    Regular Member

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    Hi,

    I'm going to start off by saying that my parents have no issue with me being gay and have never said anything that isn't supportive. They only care about me being happy and that's it. But I do have one problem. my boyfriend and I have been together for over 5 months now and I don't think my mother can see us as true boyfriends.

    The reason I say this is because she always gets uncomfortable speaking about us and always seems to try and cut off the conversation. She isn't homophobic as one of her best friends was gay (still is). However, I don't think she likes thinking of us as more than just good friends. At the beginning of our relationship, she said that she didn't want us to sleep in the same bed because it was too soon (about a month at this point so I can see where she was coming from). but I have just asked her and she says that she feels uncomfortable with it. I tried to ask more questions but she just cut me off so I stopped. Part of me thinks she is worried about us having sex as she never leaves us alone in the house unless she can't help it.

    What can I do or say to get through to her? We haven't really talked about sex as I'm 17 and this is my first boyfriend(I didn't go through the phase of getting a girlfriend) I don't want her to feel bad by saying what I think.

    Any advice?
     
    #1 Raydar0110, Nov 27, 2017
  2. I'm gay

    I'm gay
    Full Member

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    Sexual Orientation:
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    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    When you are in that situation and your mom invalidates your relationship, or won't call him your boyfriend, you might gently ask her if your boyfriend was a girl, would she willingly call her your girlfriend? It's understandable that your mom may accept you as gay but still have some difficulty when you make it real. Sometimes the abstract is easier to accept than when you deliver concrete proof.
     
    #2 I'm gay, Nov 27, 2017
  3. fadedstar

    fadedstar Guest

    When I came out to my mother at 16 she got really negative and refused to even believe me. When I came out the second time at 22 she said she didn't mind as long as I was happy. Then immediately after that asked "you're not with anyone are you" I said "no" and she looked visibly relieved and said "that's alright then..."... She's still somewhat in denial about it I think although she says she doesn't mind, so I know how it feels. I think she has some other issues going on tbh.. It is weird how some parents seem to split themselves off from reality despite claiming to be accepting. There was a lot of propaganda in the 80s which basically demonised LGBT people making them synonymous with AIDS... that might play a big part in the paranoia.
     
    #3 fadedstar, Nov 27, 2017
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